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Record Reviews

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Below are some recently posted reviews.

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COUNTRY TEASERS:
The Empire Strikes Back: LP

Lots of things can be said about Teaser mastermind Ben Waller’s lyrics: they are meant simply to aggravate, he explores taboo ideas to make you think, he’s just drunk. “Points of view are very hard to understand….all human life must be destroyed.” I don’t think he is just trying to fuck with people, they could do that a lot easier and even rhyme. But yes, the Teasers are fucking with you, in order to move things forward. Exploring taboo ideas in music means you are talking more about culture than just “my parents suck.” So that’s an easy statement, too. Waller uses lots of non-PC words in his songs but if you see the cover of the album, an old political pulp-sized book about racism in England, you might think you are going to get a Zinn-Chomsky breakdown of language and politics (nothing wrong with that, by the way). But this is a Lenny Bruce vibe, using language that can sound funny on stage but you take meaning home. No, I think Wallers does what a songwriter does: sings about his world. He’s a thoughtful writer and that means he is not going to tell you how to fix the world or what his lyrics mean. And Lord, people hate it when you don’t tell them exactly what a song means. He sings about race, music, women, sex, war, drinking, government and even about his own music. He is observational. Not in a “I don’t hate others, I’m just proud” bullshit way. That’s for skins and collegians who analyze too much. Not even in a “I hate people” way. I think more of a “I hate people who don’t think” way. And singing about your world is the core of what country, blues, rap, and rock and roll should be about in the first place. On the music end, this is the Teaser’s slow to medium paced melancholy twang, super plucky, as opposed to the faster version of the band. For thirteen years now, the Teasers have keyed into a childlike fascination of simple sounds that work together, bump and thump and whirr, and process it into pure charm. It sweeps you up and carries you through the whole album. Waller’s voice has that old deadpan country-drinker, forced-singer whine that you can dive into. I do think he drinks a lot, though.

–mike (In The Red)


STNNNG:
Self-titled: CD
As cryptic and as uninformative as this CD is: no clear track listing, hard to read liner notes, etc, I will spare you these extreme injustices. I will pull a George Costanza and do the opposite of this CD. I will be absolutely 100% direct. No need to buy this CD, there’s nothing here that would interest even a deranged monkey. That’s my lesson from the “How To Be Clear” handbook. Class dismissed. –koepenick (Modern Radio)


VERMIN, THE:
A Fist Full of Hell: CD
Thirty songs is a lot to swallow from a band I’ve never heard of before. But this nutty trio from Vegas makes the ride hair-raising. Fast, loud and loose, these guys are on to something. Any band that covers The Damned and Judas Priest on the same record is cool in my book. Best song title:“Fuck You Too.” –koepenick (Wood Shampoo)


NOTHING ERROR:
I Am Here to Break Your Heart: CD
Although the title sounds too much like that Wilco song, this one man band project from Doug Hill is pretty solid. I just figured out who this sounds like-Everclear. I don’t like Everclear at all, and this guy is like some evil clone. The only difference that I can see is that Everclear probably would not put a picture of a naked woman on the cover. “Control” and “200 Dollars” could even be played on the radio. Don’t ask me where though. –koepenick (Mental)


FALLEN SLEEPLESS:
In Seething Dreams: CD
This is a dash of emo with just a hint of screamo. I tried to get into this but repeated listenings drove me into a brick wall. Somewhere someone is getting use out of this one other than a coffee table coaster. I already got coasters so this does me no good. –koepenick (Round 3)


LIFE AND TIMES, THE:
The Magician: CDEP
Five songs culled specifically for a Japanese release. Produced by J. Robbins. Lush, atmospheric, and full. “Killing Them Softly” and “The Sound of the Ground” are especially mesmerizing. If you dug Ride, Catherine Wheel, or any of those bands from awhile back, you’ll enjoy this teaser. Epley has done it again. I wonder how many cups of coffee he drinks every day. –koepenick (Stiff Slack)


BLIGHT:
Detroit: The Dream is Dead: CD
Subtitled The Collected Works of a Midwest Hardcore Noise Band, this is Tesco Vee’s first band that made it to tape. Not quite in the humorous vein that his Meatmen releases were lyrically. This CD is harsh, noisy and annoying to others. That’s the sign of a classic record. This band only did four shows when they were in existence. Blight is kind of like The Rites Of Spring of Detroit. And Tesco just slammed the door on any reunion shows in recent blog post. “Dream Of Dead” and “Armageddon” are two barnburners. Tesco-come back to music again. The world needs more Tesco. Now if we could only get Necros on an official CD? –koepenick (Touch & Go)


BUCK GOOTER:
TV Evangelist Song: CD
Second record from this duo from Harrisonburg, VA. Weird, wild and wacky. There’s a lot of flange on these guitars—I mean a lot. But sometimes the odd songwriting of this band comes through. “I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead” and “I’ve Got Damn Age” feature some creative lyrics. Note to album designer Ben—your pic of the lightning bolt looks a lot like that Bad Brains cover. But other than that is a different records that succeeds on its own merits. Whether that will wet your whistle is up to you-the adventurous listener to decide. –koepenick (Blacks Run)


VARIOUS ARTISTS:
The World I Know-A Tribute To Pegboy: CD
I know some cynics out there in musicland sometimes think that tribute records shit ten foot bricks. Sometimes that is indeed true. But not with this twenty-four track whopper! Extensive liner notes that tell you everything you need to know about Pegboy, short of what type of cereal Larry eats for breakfast. All the songs are tight, even with many of the bands that I had never heard about at all. The Matics’ “Locomotivelung,” Vic Bondi’s “Method,” and Munition’s “Superstar.” Hard to mess up that last one since it’s one of the greatest punk songs ever written. Anyone who wants to dispute this statement can send me a rebuttal (under five-hundred words of course) via U.S. Mail. I’ll get it someday. Great CD, great package from an up and coming label. Now where is the Naked Raygun tribute CD? –koepenick (Underground Communiqué)


GREG GRAFFIN:
Cold As the Clay: CD
Second solo record from the Bad Religion frontman. This recording takes a different course than American Lesion. It’s rustic, heartfelt and sincere. “Omie Wise,” “Rebel’s Goodbye,” and “California Cotton Fields” are some of my favorites. Sit down and listen carefully to this platter. Graffin’s vocals are clear and concise, something that sometimes does not occur when Bad Religion live sports the three guitar Skynyrd attack. Great back-up work by The Weakerthans. This is a great record for all the reasons you’d expect it not to me. Plus there is some killer banjo on here. Banjo rules! – –koepenick (ANTI/Epitaph)


LABOR PARTY:
I Bleed: CD
Two band members are bald. One is not—that’s the chick. (Thank God, bald chicks freak me out.) This trio rocks with reckless abandon. Songs about despair, dead end jobs, and getting the right girl. “Coal Cracker” is about a white guy that won’t give up his dangerous occupation. A Phoenix band that deserves to be heard outside the desert. I would kill someone to see these guys on a double bill with The Knockout Pills. Good times. –koepenick (Steel Cage)


DAWN OF MAN:
In the Bronze Age: CDEP
Haunting and beguiling. Like a painting that captivates you more than five seconds as you walk through a museum. Not that this is art rock. That’s just the closest I can get to the feeling I’m getting. Although this outfit features one ex-Bluetip member, this band sounds nothing like that band. Chilling, calculated female vocals, backed by able and solid musicianship. The singer reminds me of the singer from Missing Persons. The riffs groove in an ominous fashion and the songs are all well crafted. Only four songs but I dig the title track and “The Chosen.” Quality tuneage, hopefully we’ll hear more from Dawn Of Man soon. From the sleeve picture they look like they can survive until the next thousand years passage of time. Who knows but this band has produced a subtle and effective release that should take this outfit places. –koepenick (Postfact)


KING KHAN AND BBQ SHOW, THE:
What’s for Dinner?: CD
Jesus Christ! Whatta record! Man, unlike ninety-nine percent of the people out there, I can tell King Khan And BBQ really love rock’n’roll music (I mean, have you heard the insincere sounds of L.A.’s ephemeral The Blood Arm or The Ettes?—bands with more prepackaging than a McDonald’s Happy Meal). What’s for Dinner? is an eclectic record, pulling from Brill Building pop and the fucked up, backwoods artists on Norton Records. And really, that’s what so refreshing about King Khan And BBQ: they know their stuff and have exceptional taste. Which reminds me—have you heard the story of Lou Reed working at Pickwick Records? Before Reed formed the Velvet Underground, the cheapo label hired him as a songwriter who’s primary function was to create exploitation records of whatever genre of music was hip that week (surf, Mersey Beat, pop, girl group, etc.). He had to work fast (along with John Cale) to meet Pickwick’s quotas for number of songs required for a given period of time. Reed attributed his experiences working at Pickwick for his uncanny ability to churn out those four groundbreaking Velvets albums in like no time at all. (Lou, however, remains mute on how and why he’s been unable to make a good record since—sans Metal Machine Music, of course.) Anyway, What’s for Dinner? sounds like Lou effortlessly churning out pop songs, not about junkies and Herbert Huncke, but about stupid things like zombies and girl troubles. It’s a real fucking gem of a record; perfectly in tune with American culture, without the kitsch and shit grease of rockabilly. It’s a timeless record, relevant to any period, but thankfully available now. Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, fucker—pick this one up. –ryan (In the Red )


REATARD, JAY:
Blood Visions: CD

Blood Visions is the new album by Jay Reatard. Jay Reatard is mildly famous for being in the Lost Sounds and dating Dorkus’ dream girl, Alicja Trout. (Dorkus is a reclusive Asian doctor living in one of the Carolina’s. He has interesting views on music, fueled by unpredictable mood swings and a three-thousand-strong record collection.) I like Blood Visions for two reasons: 1.) the cover art is really good, and 2.) the music found on the disc is—in the words of my fellow coworker Brad—“banging.” See, I’m a sucker for album art. Blood Visions captures Jay living out two of his childhood fantasies—namely reenacting the prom scene from the movie Carrie and duplicating the traumatic experience of childbirth. I applaud him for being so bold and honest. In the event that I release a solo album, I promise to be as daring as Jay. (I’ve always had a thing for wearing adult-sized diapers and gulping Comet sink cleaner.) So as stated above, the music on Blood Visions is banging. Blood Visions reminds me a lot of the Adverts first record, which of course is a good thing. (Jay sounds uncannily like a Brit, but he’s from Sun Records City, Tennessee.) Musically, it has that ‘76 (not to be confused with ‘77) guitar sound which, thankfully, is not at odds with a “modern sounding” production, something anyone with soul will avoid. Jay could be a tough guy if he wanted to, but he seems secure with his manhood—enough to place Bryan Ferry-like vocals over his group’s caustic music; which has that certain grating sound Eno pulled from John Cale; you know the shit that got him fired from Roxy Music. Blood Visions, like Wire’s Pink Flag, is over before you know it, packed with fifteen songs clocking in at less than thirty minutes. So in closing, this record has an album cover that Sigmund Freud would die for and some of the best music you’ll hear this year (probably one of the top-ten releases of 2006). I mean, you won’t read about Blood Visions in Rolling Stone (cuz David Fricke’s too busy jerking The Killers off to sleep), but you can take it from me, kids—it’s a real winner!

–ryan (In the Red )


MUTATORS:
Nerves: 7” EP
Dark, artsy and retarded mixed gender pummeling. I’m trying to remember if this is what the first Sonic Youth album sounded like to me in 1984, but the only song i remember off that one any more is the Stooges cover. Twenty years from now, the only song i’ll likely remember off this one is the cover of “My War,” so i guess that’s a yeah. BEST SONG: “My War” BEST SONG TITLE: “Stevie Wonder Can See” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: I can’t find an address for this record label anywhere, so i’m using the address off the back of the little slip of paper they wrote their note on, although it actually appears to be a completely different company. –norb (Grotesque Modern)


LIVE GIRLS/NONS:
Split: 7”
The Live Girls sound like what one might hope the A-Lines might sound like if they played Big Black covers instead of Love covers, except they’re not playing Big Black covers, you understand, they merely sound nerdy and dangerous. Wait a god damn minute here! I was playing the record at the wrong speed. Okay, fixed it. They suck. On to the Nons. The Nons actually do have a female singer, as opposed to the Live Girls, who only sound like they’ve got a female singer when one plays the record at the wrong speed. Alas, the Nons are so hopeless that i can’t even muster up the strength to put the record back on the wrong speed and see if that helps. Pass, and how. BEST SONG: Live Girls, “New Quest For Action,” on 45 BEST SONG TITLE: NONS, “Operator’s Not Dangerous” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: The way “NONS” is written, it looks kinda like “NEOS.” Yeah, you wish. –norb (Grotesque Modern)


GIANT HAYSTACKS:
A Rebirth of our City: 7” EP
Reminds me of the Minutemen down to the very fact that i get up and do chores while their records are playing, too. The Minutemen never woulda put out a 7” with three songs this short on it, though, they would have fit at least five on here. I accuse the band of crimes against ripping off the Minutemen! Whom do i sue? BEST SONG: “All Night Garage” BEST SONG TITLE: “All Night Garage” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: D. Boon used to write letters with one of those typewriters that had 10-point characters instead of the more common 12-point. I can’t remember if that was called “pica” or “elite.” –norb (Pizza Pizza)


FAGS, THE:
Light ‘Em Up: CD
This Detroit three-piece sounds enough like Cheap Trick to warrant the vast effusion of Cheap Trick comparisons, i suppose (mainly the vocals, and that’s only at times, but when it does kick in, it’s pretty spot-on), but the untold story behind this statement is that it’s sort of a three-piece Cheap Trick that they sound like, and the three guys left standing in said version are Robin, Tom, and Bun E.–ergo, don’t expect much in the way of Rick-like genius at either the songwriting nor guitar solo ends of the spectrum. Ultimately, it kinda sounds like if Robin Zander worked out a lot, got some but not all of the Go to be his backing band, and played an entire album’s worth of Vandalias and Exploding Hearts covers, except all the songs involved drinking beer and smoking cigarettes, ‘cause that’s just how we roll. Occasionally sounds like .38 Special, but, then again, so did All. Fun until someone starts waving a lighter, one supposes. BEST SONG: “Tonite” BEST SONG TITLE: “Truly, Truly” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: Production assistance by former Brownsville Station member Michael Lutz! W00t! –norb (Idol)


POPSTERS, THE:
The Scene: 7” 45
The band’s one-sheet (“one-sheets are retarded and we don’t like them, but you know, whatever…”) inexplicably classifies the band as “Ramones-descended pop punk,” but the guitar rhythms and song structures are almost completely a-Ramonal, leading me to wonder if the dude who wrote the one-sheet (or, for that matter, the band) has even heard the Ramones in the first place. I mean, the only band i can think of from that entire era that The Popsters might reasonably lay claim to being “descended” from would be the Professionals, and even that reference is more circumstantial than anything. Contains a cover of Tom Petty’s “American Girl” that serves the noble enough purpose of putting a version of that song into the record collections of people like me who always kinda liked that song, but didn’t like it enough to actually go out and buy a Tom Petty record (though the song stops short of being even vaguely exceptional owing to the fact that the drummer stops keeping time once he starts playing fills), and ends with a hookless, five-minute patience tester that one would tend to file under “What Exactly WERE You Thinking?” were one a meticulous bookkeeper. In summation, i like their name, but i think their records should be pinker. BEST SONG: “American Girl” BEST SONG TITLE: Wow, still “American Girl” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: I honestly cannot figure out if the band is from Carbondale, Illinois or Italy. –norb (It’s Alive)


HATEPINKS, THE:
We Are the Fucks: CD
I initially mocked the “Sehr Gut Rock Und Roll” album for being some kinda reverse-triumph of style over substance, claiming that the band might as well have been pulling random punk words out of a hat for song titles and what not—not that i’m against that (in point of fact, the band actually inspired me to DO just that—cf. my “punk rock magnetic poetry” column of some time back), but it didn’t seem to have much point to it. Now i listen to that album (as part of this forty-two track complete recordings thang) and i wonder exactly what the fuck it was i didn’t like about it, ‘cause, i mean, it sounds kinda great now. The only thing i can think of is that now at work i have to listen to music thru headphones, so, yeah, rectify THAT with the Great Art of Punk Rock, s’il vous plait. BEST SONG: “Fall In Love With A JPEG File” BEST SONG TITLE: “My City Is Sick of Pizzas” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: 42 songs, 1.1 hours, 709.1 MB. For the videogame i’m currently working on, i have to keep the grand total file size of all in-game sound assets to 8 MB. I HAVE EIGHT FUCKING MEGABYTES TO USE FOR ALL THE FUCKING SOUND IN THE GAME!!! Moozairfookair! –norb (Revel Yell)


NICE BOYS, THE:
Self-titled: CD
I was playing review CDs in my car driving home from Madison one night, selecting them by blindly grabbing them off the passenger seat while in transit, thusly initially experiencing them quite without context. Therefore, having not read the various name-drops of Slade, Sweet, T. Rex, Gary Glitter, et al, on the back cover, i did not pick up on the fact that the band was attempting some manner of early ‘70s U.K. glam thing (plus unfortunate but understandable Heartbreakers contaminant) until the fifth track, a blatant (but effective) rip off of some Gary Glitter song or another (you know, the one with the drums?). I had initially considered “Teenage Nights” to be somewhat akin to what the Dictators might’ve sounded like were Adny exerting “Manifest Destiny” levels of control over “Go Girl Crazy,” and if the ‘Tators were able (and willing) to channel the spirit of the Raspberries at need (kind of like “Loyola,” i guess, except without a basketball team). In any event, once i got all oriented and what-not, and realized it was Terry Six from the Exploding Hearts doing some kinda glam-punk-pop-roll thing, my viewpoint became contaminated, and i spent the rest of the time thinking how records that are recorded on the cheap (a la the Exploding Hearts album) always hold out the promise of undiscovered truths to potentially be uncovered after multiple listenings–whereas records with a “good” production (such as this one) are likely to make a more immediate first impression, but rarely hold any significant manner of undiscovered thrills for the repeat user. I also thought a bit how “good” production often leads to lazy songwriting, like in “Johnny Guitar”–you can just sort of have these breaks where it’s just the drums playing that sorta “Pirate Love” beat ‘cause it’s produced well and sounds cool, but, if you’re recording at a “Modern Kicks” level, you can’t get away with eight or sixteen measures of drums ‘cause the drums won’t keep anybody’s attention recorded like that. I also thought about how the intro licks to “Teenage Nights” can be seen as an emulation of either “Wig Wam Bam” by Sweet or “Talk Dirty To Me” by Poison, and attempted to rectify the degree of interest i have in “Wig Wam Bam” emulation (significant) vs. that of “Talk Dirty To Me” emulation (scant) with the fact that it’s pretty much the same damn riff. In short, not to draw unfair comparisons or anything, but this record is the type of thing you buy in the summer and play for a week or two; the Exploding Hearts album is something that lasts you all winter and into the spring, and you can play pretty much any record for a week or two in the summer. I like it, but i wish it had a weirder production or something, just so i knew it was on my side. Also, any band that calls themselves “The Nice Boys” and doesn’t pick up on the Rose Tattoo reference by naming their first album “…Don’t Play Rock ‘n’ Roll” better get the hell back to Rock School, i’m sorry. BEST SONG: “Teenage Nights” BEST SONG TITLE: “Dugong Along” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: Major Territories: Portland, San Francisco, Los Angeles (sold out Spaceland). –norb (Birdman)


SWELL MAPS:
Wastrels and Whippersnappers: CD
A number of years ago, a few local rock intelligentsia types were all a-twitter because Nikki Sudden was playing in town. They thought it was noteworthily incongruous that the esteemed and presumably very important Nikki Sudden was playing in our unesteemed and presumably unimportant burg. They were like “Nikki Sudden! Playing here! Can you imagine?” I was like “Yeah, that’s a wild one. Who the fuck is Nikki Sudden?” I was informed that Nikki Sudden was in Swell Maps. Amazingly, while i remember seeing Swell Maps 45s in mailorder catalogues in the early ‘80s, i actually don’t think i ever heard Swell Maps until just now. I seem to recall hearing the words “Syd” and “Barrett” in any anecdotal description of their services i was ever provided; historically, that’s been quite enough to deflect any amorous advances i may have been considering. Ultimately, twenty-five or thirty years after the fact, i find that Swell Maps aren’t too terribly un-swell at that – the more coherent moments remind me of an unlikely marriage between Guided By Voices, the Sniveling Shits, and the first 10cc album, or maybe if the Soft Boys were on Rip Off Records. The less coherent moments suggest Pianosaurus trying to sound like Jethro Tull covering “Shut Down” by the Germs. All in all, i’ll take a mild rebuke for never having heard the band til now, but will not offer up my bottom for a full-on paddling. BEST SONG: “Full Moon-Blam-Full Moon” BEST SONG TITLE: “Harmony In Your Bathroom” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: These “primitive home recordings” come with a health warning. One assumes this warning came too late to save the tragically no-longer-with-us Mr. Sudden. –norb (Overground)


RYAN SOTOMAYER AND THE WELL BEHAVED:
Three Pines Therapy: CD-R
This CD features a bedroom recording of mellow and melodic pop songs. With a spiffy recording budget and a few U.S. tours under their belt, I can see this outfit being asked to join the Saddle Creek roster. –mrz (Enchantment Under The Stars)


COPYRIGHTS, THE:
Nowhere Near Chicago: 7”
The saviors of pop-drenched punk recorded four songs during their Buttonsmasher sessions, which are actually covers of pre-Copyrights tunes of the members’ previous bands. This shit is top notch. If you get asked what you want for your birthday, you better put The Copyrights discography at the top of your list. And for those of you who have no idea what a record player is, this slab comes with a neat little CD of the same songs along with a poster and lyric sheet. Muy fantastico!! Oh, and dude... Red Scare will be putting out a brand-new full-length by these guys in early 2007. Happy early birthday! –mrz (It’s Alive)


ZATOPEKS/COPYRIGHTS, THE:
Handclaps & Bottlecaps: 7”
Two bands offer up two songs each for this 7”, and the catch? They’re all acoustic. Pop punk unplugged. The first song on side A by The Zatopeks was not all that great, and I feared the worst. But the three remaining tracks save the day. The Copyrights do acoustic versions of one song from We Didn’t Come Here to Die and one from Mutiny Pop, and they do it beautifully. I seriously want to burn the originals next to these versions and just listen to them right after another! Out of everything I’ve ever heard from The Zatopeks, their second song -“Turkish Bread Chronicle”- is now my favorite. Wonderful lyrics and flawless execution. Don’t let the acoustic theme scare you away. Aside from the first song this is a split you should probably add to your collection. –mrz (It’s Alive)


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·SHORT FAST & LOUD #27
·UNKNOWN INSTRUCTIONS
·STRAIGHTJACKET
·THEMA ELEVEN / GRIDE
·FUNCTIONAL BLACKOUTS
·SURROUNDED BY THIEVES
·KLONDIKE’S NORTH 40
·BHOPAL STIFFS


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