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Record Reviews

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Below are some recently posted reviews.

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TEMPLARS, THE:
Clockwork Orange Horror Show: CDEP
This re-issued 1995 EP features below-average American oi. The lyrics offer Sham 69-caliber observations and the whole production reminds me of Blitz. The only unusual thing about this recording is the tame guitar sound, which forces the vocals to take on more than their share of the heavy lifting. Also, even back in '95, Clockwork Orange references were out of date, unless of course you're the Adicts (and maybe even in that case). –Chris Pepus (Templecombe)


TEMPER TEMPER:
Self-titled: CD
These sons of Milwaukee have a record, and a good one at that. It combines the hypnotic yet andrenalizing qualities of big beat dance music with the frenetic urgency of a life too short to be lived to full satisfaction, giving it an air of elegant, artful destruction. Magnificent. –The Lord Kveldulfr (Revelation)


TEENAGE CASKET CO:
Dial It Up: CD
Reviewer rule #316: If any of the band members is sporting the last name “Wylde,” the odds of the record sucking are upped exponentially. Reviewer rule #848: If one of the song titles is “Bad Girl,” and a member of the band is sporting the last name “Wylde,” carefully place the offending article down, step away slowly, call for the mass evacuation of a thirty-mile radius, and nuke the whole area to ensure any traces of the offending record have been eliminated. –jimmy (Trashpit)


TEENAGE BOTTLEROCKET:
Total: CD
I had heard mp3s and must admit I wasn't too impressed. But listening to it now and thumbing through the booklet, I think I'm falling in love. The vocals, lyrics, and attitude rule. If the phrase “pop punk” doesn't scare you, and you're a HUGE Ramones or Lillingtons fan, this disc is for you, hands down. Two thumbs way up. “Stupid Games” is by far the best track on the album. Push the repeat button, QUICK! –mrz (Redscare, www.redscare.net)


TALK HARD:
War Journal: 7"
Here's one that takes me back. Metallic hardcore, but not in the current dark-and-suffering-band-of-the-week mold. I mean this sounds like Struggle or something off of an Ebullition comp from the early ‘90s much more than it does like Isis or anything off Hydra Head today. It's pissed, it's smart, and there are weird little breakdowns and parts peppered throughout the songs so that it hooks you, keeps you listening, and never turns into a snoozefest. With songs like "American Idle," "Hardcore Kids Say the Darndest Things," and "If Your Local Anarchist Collective Ruled the World," you know what you're getting here: short, furious, intelligent songs by kids that are just as ready to critique the fallacies of their own scene as they are to the government or consumer culture. A twelve-song seven-inch from a band I've never even fucking heard of, and also a record that just so happens to come heartily recommended. –keith (Don Giovanni; www.sonofabitchbastard.com)


SWING DING AMIGOS:
The Mongolita Chronicles: CD
The Amigos smack you around like a crack bitch with twenty tracks, most all clocking in at under a minute and a half. Being a trio, these guys have got their shit together. Tight, yet loose, a la Toys That Kill. This disc is a big-ass wall of raw, bleeding rawk that sounds like what Minor Threat would have sounded like if they took to emptying cases of beer and fifths of booze in their spare time. The Amigos would’ve been a repeat opening band for Black Flag, but lucky you, you get to see The Amigos the next time you get the chance. Don’t blow it. –dale (Rock N Roll Purgatory)


SWEATMASTER:
Tom Tom Bullet: CD
O MERCIFUL GOD, KILL ME NOW THAT THIS MAY BE THE LAST RECORD THAT I HEAR ON THIS EARTHLY PLANE SO THAT I BOP AND SHIMMY INTO THE AFTERLIFE WITH SWEATMASTER’S INFECTIOUS, GOOEY-GROOVY ROCK ‘N’ ROLL SOUL-PUMMELING GUIDING MY SPIRIT INTO ETERNITY… –The Lord Kveldulfr (Bad Afro)


SUPERSUCKERS:
Devil: CD
This self-released "Collection of Rare Treats and Evil Sweets" is intended to crash the Supersuckers-bootleg market and "shortens the wait" between studio albums. If you're a SS fan from way back (like the eMpTy days), feverishly sought out dozens of live shows, shamefully bowed out around 1999's Evil Powers of Rock 'n' Roll, and wish to God they'd put out another country album, then this is manna from heaven. There are no overtures of shameless Spaghetti-strapped forty-year-old women dry-humping Eddie's leg from the front row while screaming, "Oh, Eddie. Ooohhh, Eddie!" This is not for the rock 'n' jock crowd. This album traverses the group's garage, punk, and country highways and divergent intersections over the course of a sixteen-song (eleven originals and five covers including OutKast, Electric Frankenstein, and Lionel Richie) road trip. Upbeat ass-shakin' punk in "Shake It Off," country versions of "Doublewide" and "Born with a Tail," a blunt discussion of everyone's favorite makeshift paraphernalia in "Tin Can," a fantastical doo-wop tune with a tablespoon of Andre Williams' humor called "Rubber Biscuit" and a hopeful nod to wishing others well in "End of an Era." Damn, that's good. Now, where'd I put that roach? –thiringer (Mid-Fi Recordings)


SUIT OF LIGHTS:
Self-titled: CD
You get easily deceived by this. The opening track is a decent rock meets dancehall track that reminded me of a cross between Sublime and Linkin Park. But the rest of the disc is college rock meets modern radio rock in the vein of—but does not stand up to—the UK band Squeeze or XTC. –don (Visiting Hours)


STUTTERFLY:
And We Are Bled of Color: CD
If Papa Roach is what you would consider to be hard and heavy, this bird dropping is for you. –don (Maverick)


STRAPS, THE:
The Punk Collection: CD
Captain Oi shines a spotlight on another band that has fallen through the cracks of time, this one featuring alumni from the class of ’78, a number of whom went on to bigger and better things in bands like Theatre of Hate and Sex Gang Children. A number of “guests” make appearances here, including the odd Damned and Subs member. Included here are the tracks from the band’s single and album, both of which are fine examples of UK punk at its best, alternating between thudding primitive tunes and proto-post punk experimentation. This ’un’s a keeper. –jimmy (Captain Oi)


STRAIGHTJACKET:
Modern Thieves: CD
Nothing flashy here, just straight ahead punk. As Todd alluded to in his review of their 7” in the last ish, there’s hints of greatness here, but oftentimes I feel that it stops just short of those possibilities. Like watching a prizefighter who strings along his opponent, I keep waiting for a knockout blow that never seems to materialize. Instead there is a string of solid body blows and jabs to the face that do the job over time rather than all at once. A good record, but I wanna be KO’d. –The Lord Kveldulfr (TKO)


STEPHEN MALKMUS:
Face the Truth: CD
This album is, well, pretty goddamned average. There are the greats and the losers. The tracks most worth a listed are “Pencil Rot” and “Baby C’mon.” They really breathe a lot of life into this record and are perfectly amazing songs. Other than that, it sounds like a lot of catchy filler. The record reminds one of Weezer with less guitar. Lyrically it is very strong, but the sound is extremely commercial; real radio material. I’ve heard most of it before, not to say that it’s a bad album, just nothing new. –Guest Contributor (Matador)


SMIRK/BEST PALS:
Split: 7”
Smirk: Some bands can pull off the three chord song; this isn’t one of them. Learn how to play before investing in any form of studio recording. Learn how to sing too; between the two vocalists, the lady sounds like a bad Dolly Parton impersonator while the man has a deep, nasally voice (that is not a good thing). They sound terrible solo as it is, but imagine the duo together. Jesus Christ help us all. If that isn’t enough, the second song cuts off before it is even finished. It doesn’t matter if that was done on purpose or not, it sounds awful either way. Best Pals: The lead singer sounds like he has a jawbreaker in his mouth at all times. The only thing he seems to be saying is “a la ba da da da da”. Again with the terrible three chord songs. A ten-year-old could have written better. Honestly people, it’s not 1976 anymore and you are not The Ramones. The second song, “You’re Number One,” sounds like a terrible Descendents cover with an autistic child spitting out unlistenable lyrics. Thumbs down. –Guest Contributor (Broken)


MEDICATIONS:
Your Favorite People All in One Place: CD
So I get this CD of a band named Medications on Dischord Records. Dischord Records? Ian MacKaye? Awesome. Or is it? I start to listen. Oh my god, what is this? It sounds like Tool decided to join an indie label. Tool the band, not a type of hammer, wrench, etc. Slow jams right out of the gutter. Oh, this is so bad! Nine dreadful songs pass as I sit, listening to every single one in pure agony. Oh, but there is light! The last song, number ten, “Occupied,” is by all means a great fucking song. A post-punk masterpiece. I still don’t understand how something so good can be on such a piece of shit record, but it really is. It’s been on repeat for the last twenty minutes, and it really is still there. Listen to this song if possible, but don’t waste your time on any of the rest. –Guest Contributor (Dischord)


LANGHORNE SLIM:
When the Sun’s Gone Down: CD
Folk music has not been this good in a long time; Langhorne Slim’s debut full-length is filled with finger-pickin’ bluegrass goodness with a dash of rock’n’roll added to the fairytale. His voice resembles Tiny Tim’s mixed with the raspy blues vocals of the past, while the guitar and banjo playing flows beautifully throughout the record. He sings about love past and present, misunderstandings, awkwardness, and other emotional attributes that any one person can be empathic toward. You wouldn’t think a twenty-two-year-old man such as himself could do it all so well, but he can and does. There have been a ton of retro-minded artists coming along these last few years, but I have not heard any of them (with the exception of The Starvations) do justice to the past up until I heard this album. Listen to “In the Midnight” or “Hope and Fulfillment” and you will understand why. Grab your best gal and get ready to shoot your eyes out; this is grade A material. –Guest Contributor (Narnack)


STATIC AGE, THE:
Neon Nights Electric Lives: CD
If you grew up in the 1980s, you know that you simply couldn’t get away from music like this—dark, synth and effects-driven gothic pop that echoes for days. Think somewhere along the lines of the guitar tones of A Flock of Seagulls with the general mood of B-Movie or The Cure; think along the darker, unhappier fringes (though not quite as dark or unhappy as Christian Death or Joy Division—Clan Of Xymox or another synth-driven 4AD band with pop edges will do nicely). Toss in a dash or two of shoegaze (like Ride, My Bloody Valentine, Lush, etc.) to round out the songs and provide some musical depth and texture. Add some breathy, crooning vocals (not entirely unlike Flesh For Lulu, only with more of a husky quality). What you should wind up with, as I said when I first heard “It Never Seems to Last”—a song that should (and in any other world would) have been a massive radio hit—is a soundtrack for a John Hughes film that never got made (and think about John Hughes circa Some Kind of Wonderful or Pretty in Pink, the two movies he made that seemed to capture teen angst and class awareness most honestly). I won’t claim that this is brilliant, innovative, or great, but there are times when I don’t expect or need a record to change my life; right now, this well-crafted album is perfectly satisfying and that’s good enough. –scott (Tarantulas)


STATE, THE:
No Illusions: 7”
One of the good things to come out of the whole Killed By Death phenomenon is that a lot of attention has been focused on bands that otherwise would’ve continued to wallow in obscurity and remained unheard of outside of the small group of people who actually bought one of the, say, two hundred copies of a given release by said band. So much about punk and hardcore in the ‘80s (at least in the circles I ran around in) was not as much about whether you had the latest from more popular bands like Hüsker Dü or 7 Seconds (although being familiar with them didn’t hurt) as it was about what amazing obscurity you stumbled upon that week. Through this ritual, bands like the Mentally Ill, Void, Italy’s Raw Power, Germany’s Inferno and damn near any Scandinavian band to commit music to tape garnered more than a couple of fans as far away from their hometown as East Los Angeles could be. Sadly, I would further venture to say that it’s that peculiar punk habit that somewhere went haywire and resulted in dumbfucks unclear on the concept paying ridiculous prices for records they’re only gonna store in a hermetically sealed box in an airless room and never, ever play and, thus, taking such gems out of circulation. Fuck that. Records are supposed to be played often and, more importantly, shared with others who might find them crucial. So this whole bootleg and/or reissue culture of reintroducing long gone bands back into the punk rock conversation is just peachy, I say. Not only has it kick started the musical career of the Queers, which may or may not be a good thing depending on how you feel about them, but it’s also exposed a lot of people (myself included) to bands they never new existed, such as the State, which brings us to the record currently up for discussion. This is a reissue, not a bootleg, of this Michigan band’s first of two releases (the other being a 12” that, according to some sources, is nowhere near the caliber of this, but I digress). The band cranks out seven blasts of quirky thrash that are finished faster than it takes to read the lyrics. Although they don’t really sound like them, comparisons would lead to other now-obscure Midwestern bands, like Die Kreuzen, whose Cows and Beer EP was just as crazed, chaotic, and quirky as what’s here, and the Fix, who were just about as rough around the edges and mean-sounding as these guys. Ultimately, this deserves a spot in hardcore’s hallowed halls just as much as any of the genre’s more celebrated groups. Thanks to Felix Havoc, you can get a copy of this bad boy, which was mastered from the original tapes and features a faithful reproduction of the original cover layout, for 3/100 the price you would pay for a copy of the original. Better snatch it up quick, though, ’cause there’s only a thousand of ’em out there (well, 999 if you count the one that ain’t gonna be leaving my home anytime soon). If you do manage to get one, be sure to play it often and share it with as many friends as you can. –jimmy (Havoc)


STARVATIONS, THE:
Gravity’s a Bitch: CD
I’ve been waiting for Gravity’s a Bitch’s release for months now. See, not too many albums get me all worked up nowadays, and unless Greg Cartwright appears on a recent release, I typically pass up the new stuff for something stupid like a Little Eva 7”. But not the Starvations! No, no, especially taking into account 2003’s masterpiece, Get Well Soon. ANYWAY, I’d heard some of the new stuff at shows and had a feeling this record’s arrival was going to cure some of my audiophile/record collecting withdrawals. And it totally did! Fuck, Gravity’s a Bitch totally rules! The album’s success lies in the Starvations’ growth as songwriters and musicians; Gabriel Hart comes through again with chord progressions so perfect, I keep listening to individual songs over and over again—it’s like when Allan Freed would play songs to death, only I don’t get payola and have never been sauced on the air. Hart’s slide guitar is fucking ridiculous, too—“Nightshade Sweats” reminds me of some Kid Congo’s work on Las Vegas Story. His formidable, morbid narratives are back too, most notably in the “were going on vacation as soon as Blind Lemon Jefferson’s ghost comes through with the tickets” blast of “Lost at Sea;” Jean-Paul Garnier is quite possibly L.A.’s best bassist not named Tommy Branch. The dude works the fretboard like Rob Ritter did on Miami and has something most bassists don’t have: creativity! Piano/accordion player Vanessa Gonzalez continues to demonstrate how integral her multi-instrumental pallet is to The Starvations’ unique sound. And therein lies the Starvations’ secret: they know how to write idiosyncratic, solid tunes and play their instruments really fucking well. They also sound well-versed in America’s musical history, a lot like the Clash in ’79 and the Gun Club in ’81. If you know those bands, you know how fucking scary that is. And until I drive my roommates’ nuts with repeats of this record, I’ll finally be able to leave my In the Red Records altar unmanned for longer than a day. Goddamn. –ryan (GSL)


SPOONBOY:
I Love You, This Is a Robbery: CD
Do you ever get a CD and you can't decide if you really like it or not? It’s clever acoustic punk from a fan of Billy Bragg. Although, this CD doesn't resemble anything Billy Bragg has ever done. It’s a true mix of duds and gems. Perfect for mellow, thoughtful nights with yourself and a six pack of Pabst. –mrz (Plan-it-X)


SPACEHORSE:
Self-titled: CDEP
I love promotional material sometimes. This label proclaims that this band is fast hardcore in the vein of Double O, Die Kreuzen, Battalion of Saints, Articles of Faith, and the Offenders. Being an old guy, let’s look at this claim. The bands mentioned all sound uniquely different from each other. I will give them hints of Double O, Articles of Faith, and the Offenders. I don’t hear the Die Kreuzen and definitely not Battalion of Saints. You know what this band sounds like to me? Ciril. –don (Gravity)


SPACE CRETINS:
Rocket Roll: CD
Decent enough junkie rock with frighteningly disposable lyrics. Produced by Jack Endino. –jimmy (Killing Pig, no address)


SOVIETTES, THE:
LP III: CD
The Soviettes’ LP II was easily one of my top five albums of last year. Their LP I was in my top five for the year before. So the real question with LP III was whether or not they could keep up the trend. Three top five albums in three years. That’s a lot to ask of any band. My expectations were so high that I couldn’t imagine being anything but disappointed. And, to be honest, my first listen was a little tepid. I wasn’t sure if this album could stand up to their first two. There was that third song that sounded like Pat Benatar could’ve sung it. And there are definite rock star moments to some of the songs: big power chords and riffs that sound like they could become guitar solos. Still, there was enough of the Soviettes to get me to spin it again. As songs started separating themselves and all the parts started fitting together, this album made sense. It’s punk rock and eighties pop and some of the best elements of fellow Minneapolis bands like the Selby Tigers and Dillinger Four. It’s also never far from my stereo. I burned an extra copy to keep in my truck. I can’t stop listening to it. It’s early to say, but I think the Soviettes are gonna make my top five list three years running. –sean (Fat)


SOUTH FILTHY:
Crackin’ Up: LP
South Filthy are some legends from the ‘90s (Monsieur Jeffrey Evans, Jack Oblivian Yarber, Walter Daniels) showing their roots by doing legendary songwriters’ work from back in the day; songs by Marvin Rainwater, Tom T. Hall, Gino Washington, Bo Diddley, and others are covered here. Soul, blues, old school country—respectability. I hope it makes the true crossover and plays in truck stops. Two-hundred and fifty copies are a deluxe edition double vinyl set with their first album on Sympathy. –mike (Rockin’ Bones)


SOME GIRLS:
The DNA Will Have It’s Say: CDEP

What is the most important information I should know about Some Girls?

Call your doctor if you experience difficulty sleeping; mood changes; nervousness; irritability; difficulty concentrating; indigestion; nausea; vomiting (especially material that looks like coffee grounds); diarrhea; black, tarry stools; slurred speech; headache; extreme drowsiness; yellowing of the skin or eyes; hallucinations or severe confusion; vivid dreams; or changes in behavior. These symptoms may be early indicators of an awe-inspiring musical listening experience and may require immediate medical treatment.

What is Some Girls?

Some Girls falls into an unclassifiable genre of music which straddles hardcore, grindcore, and other extreme forms. It affects chemicals in the brain and may result in happiness or cause anxiety, insomnia, and seizures. This particular dose features Karen O from the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, lasts for just over six minutes, and is not unlike slamming face-first onto concrete with nothing to break the fall. It is used to treat boredom with other musical styles, frustration with a lack of experimentation and adventure, and general malaise about contemporary society. It is also an effective treatment for constipation.

Who should not listen to Some Girls?

No one. Some Girls is suitable for listening by everyone, including small children. To date, no birth defects have been reported as a result of listening to Some Girls during pregnancy.

How should I listen to Some Girls?

Frequently and at high volumes.

What happens if I overdose?

In the extremely unlikely event that you manage to listen to too much Some Girls, enjoy it. Very few people have managed that accomplishment.

(End notes: 1. All of the side effects listed above are possible side effects of meds I’ve been on in the last month. Go me. 2. Having actually fallen off of a fence from ten feet up and landed face-first on concrete, this is an accurate description of how fierce this record really is. 3. Totally true. My girlfriend’s kid likes it and she’s pushing four. She also likes to play scary songs on guitar. 4. This is one of the best records I’ve heard so far this year. It’s challenging and offers no easy answers or even easy questions.) –scott (Three One G)


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·Webcomic Wednesdays #161
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