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Record Reviews

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Below are some recently posted reviews.

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SATELLITERS:
: 6-song CDEP
This long-standing beat/garage/psych unit from some country where they issue funny website addresses never truly connected with me; much like pretty much everything else on the Dionysus label, they always seemed like a slightly sterilized version of something that was supposed to be intrinsically rawer and cooler. Be that as it may, the band seems to have “progressed”—arguably for the better (gasp!)—mutating/evolving into something more akin to some of the less-horrible quote-college-rock-unquote units from the Southern Hemisphere ca. 1985 (Hoodoo Gurus… uh… shit, that’s all i can think of right now), and not at all un-Bigtime Records-ish, if you follow (and even if you don’t). What this means to the layman is that, although i still am not enervated in any meaningful way by this band, i am now somewhat more interested in the ways and means of how they go about not enervating me. BEST SONG: “It’s Not True” BEST SONG TITLE: “Your Stuff” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: Band uses a Vox amp. Goodness. –norb (Dionysus)


SASS DRAGONS:
ManCandy: CD
Illinois is one lucky state. It houses the Lincoln Home National Historic Site, it lovingly claims the wonderful city of East St. Louis, and they happen to also be home to one of my new favorite bands, the Sass Dragons. I can’t even begin to tell you how happy I am to have received this from Razorcake HQ. Now that Hickey has been gone for a few years, The Bananas don’t seem to ever want to record a new album, and The Minds have disappeared off the map, I am reassured that fun, sloppy, inventive pop punk isn’t going to die along with some of my favorite bands. I actually was surprised that these guys weren’t from the Bay area. There is a distinct feeling I get from their music that I automatically associate with northern California, which I should probably stop doing now. I am finding it really hard not to jump and flail around the living room right now with a huge smile on my face. Now to clarify, the band comparisons above are not entirely accurate, because there will never be a replacement for any of them. The Sass Dragons seem to borrow from the best aspects of each of them, creating a sound original to them. Well, it’s official. My pick for best album of 2006 thus far. PLEASE COME TO PORTLAND, DEAREST SASS DRAGONS! –Guest Contributor (Lets Pretend)


SAM LOMBARDI:
Take Your Pic: CD
Picture if you will, Kelly Clarkson weaned on Johnny Thunders. Well, maybe not weaned, but told by some A&R weasel to dress that way because it’ll sell. Yep, this is pure teen pop crap. There’s quite the team of writers here. Some songs have up to five or six writers. Too bad Sam herself is only credited on four of them. The first song was kind of catchy (in an embarrassing, shameful kind of way), but I was redeemed when I couldn’t stand the rest of it. This should be standard mall fare in no time. –ty (Black Sea)


SAINTE CATHERINES, THE:
Dancing for Decadence: CD
Hey! Another band that flew under my radar and pops up out of nowhere! I see this band has already put out a couple of LPs, an EP and two splits. Where have I been? Clueless, as usual. A posse of six from Montreal, Canada is the culprit of creating this wall of noise. A mixture of small hints of Strike Anywhere, Hot Water Music, and maybe a double pinch of Strung Out. Melodic, but still hard driving. The production is top-notch in Fat fashion where every instrument is separate and identifiable, but melds as one. The vocal delivery is slightly gruff, but is in key and sung with conviction. The three guitars play a game of Twister with their intertwining harmonies and layers. There is no doubt these guys can play and show some anger in the process. A great introduction to another band I have never heard of before. –don (Fat)


SAINTE CATHERINES, THE:
Dancing for Decadence: CD

I remember in the summer of 1993, the big talk of the U.S. punk scene was Avail. They were awesome live, but all their records up until that point were pretty weak. Nothing they’d released had done a really good job of capturing their live energy. Then Dixie came out and Avail became the big shit of the ‘90’s. Dancing for Decadence is The Sainte Catherines’ Dixie. Finally, an album that is as dynamic and powerful as seeing them live. Imagine Tragedy playing Leatherface songs with catchy, anthemic choruses a la Strike Anywhere, and you’ve got a pretty good idea of where these six French-Canadians are coming from. Hugo’s lyrics straddle the line between personal emo-ish stuff and social statements calling the scene out on its shit, but always with enough intelligence to not sound cheesy. The three guitars are just different enough from one another to create a warm, dark melodic texture, but without losing their bite. I’m so glad The Sainte Catherines finally have a good recorded representation of how awesome they can sound. This band is gonna get fucking huge, so you might wanna get in on the ground floor and get this now.

 

–ben (Fat)


SAGGER:
Self-Titled: 7"
I’ve liked most of the releases I’ve heard on Goodbye Boozy, but this is a clunker. It sounds like southern, ‘70s classic rock. Ugh. –benke (Goodbye Boozy)


RUTS:
Punk Singles Collection: CD
As the name implies, this is a collection of singles tracks courtesy of that other most excellent Limey band that sprinkled liberal doses of reggae into their punk rock. Virtually every classic tune imaginable this band recorded can be found here, from “In a Rut” to “Jah War” to the first Ruts DC single, “Different View/Formula Eyes.” Of particular note is that the versions of “Babylon’s Burning,” “Society,” and the aforementioned “Jah War” are all the singles versions making their CD debut here. –jimmy (Captain Oi)


RUM RUNNER:
Dead Men Are Heavier Than Broken Hearts: 7"
Sounds like Swingin’ Utters / Filthy Thieving Bastards channeled via The Pogues. Though a bit unimaginative, it is done very well, utilizing banjo, accordion, drums, and undistorted guitar in that wild chaotic way that characterizes Irish folk punk. I personally like the more punked-out songs I’ve heard this band do a bit better, however. The B-Side is a slightly more punk version of… hmm, a Pogues cover. –KO! (Longshot)


ROY:
Killed John Train: CD
Mr. Todd Taylor is a clever one. I pop this CD in the player and right there on the first song, the guy starts singing about Reno. That’s where I live! Unfortunately, “Reno, I’m Coming Home” contains a line within that states, “Empty halls with sparse applause yields another bad review.” Err… this does not bode well for Roy. There’s a great, phony album teaser at the end of Built To Spill’s CD, There’s Nothing Wrong with Love, where producer Phil Eck introduces songs that will appear on the next LP. The songs are miles apart from each other stylistically, much like the material on Killed John Train. Country-tinged indie-pop in the vein of Wilco and Neutral Milk Hotel followed by slow alterna-moodiness the recalls Idlewild and Guided By Voices with some early Silver Jews thrown in to allow things to get really quiet. As none of these descriptive terms contain the words “rock” or “roll” or the letter “n,” I didn’t care much for this. –benke (Lujo)


ROSE MELBERG:
Cast Away the Clouds: CD
I loved this album, but then in high school, I always had a strong fascination with the melancholy girls. You know the girls. Like Alice in your math class with the dark brown hair and red cheeks who you saw crying in the hallway last week after she broke up with Glenn. And it was, like, sad, you know? Because they weren’t just a high school couple. They seemed like, desperately in love. And so you sit there when you’re supposed to be doing that sheet of word problems and stare at Alice because she’s so pretty and her secondhand clothes are so much nicer than anything you’ve ever found at the Salvation Army and you kind of cry a bit when she gets up on stage at the school’s talent night and plays her green acoustic guitar and sings a song about Glenn and how much she loved him. I love Rose Melberg for the same reasons I loved girls like Alice in high school. Because she is talented, and gorgeous, and oh so sad. And since I’ll hopefully never be sad enough myself to write songs this great, I’ll listen to this album whenever I feel like hurting vicariously. –jennifer (Double Agent)


ROLLO TOMASI:
Work Slow Crush Foes: CD
Fairly intricate, mid-tempo rock. This is the kind of record that you get a little more and pick up something new every time you listen to it. It’s a little slow for me at times, but some of my less discriminating friends (by which I mean, “friends that aren’t anywhere near as snobby as me”) would probably enjoy this. –joe (Underground Communique)


ROCKET:
Girls with Candy Hearts: CDEP
No matter how much thrash, grindcore, hardcore, and crust I listen to and go see, I am a sucker for all-girl bands. Now add a few covers with a blast of bubblegum, and I’m like a catfish hooked with a designer lure. Starting off is a cover of The Professionals which was one of Steve Jones’ bands after the Sex Pistols. I vaguely remember the song, but I was never really into them. But this band turns it into a new song. Never heard the Nick Gilder song “Backstreet Noise” before. All I ever heard was “Hot Child in the City.” I would have never known it was a cover if I didn’t look at the liner notes. Their rendition of the Ramones’ “I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend” becoming “I Wanna Be Your Girlfriend” was an easy lyric change and enjoyable too. It didn’t feel sacrilegious. Their Iggy Pop cover of “Funtime” has the elements of quirkiness that a band like Fuzzbox in the ‘80s or Elastica in the ‘90s would have done. Their originals are great too. This one’s a keeper! Now if a copy of their previous release that I read about with the Redd Kross and Bay City Rollers covers comes my way, I will be one happy music junkie. –don (Teenacide)


ROCK N’ ROLL STORMTROOPERS:
On Fire: CD
This silly band from Germany wears their influences on their sleeves: Cock Sparrer, Slade, AC/DC, Ramones, Rose Tattoo. It’s an upbeat, fun record with catchy riffs and ridiculous lyrics. Sample line: “We are bulldozers on the loose / Roaring, steaming, pounding!” Despite the fact that the music utilizes every street punk guitar riff cliché in the book, the music frankly kicks serious ass. Plus all four guys are wearing Turbonegro-esque, Daisy Duke type shorts on the insert photo, in a background of pink lighning bolts. What could be better then a little furry man-leg action? –ayn (Full Breach)


ROBOCOP KRAUS, THE:
They Think They Are: CD
I wish they would have called themselves “The Robocop Klaus Nomi,” then they’d all be dead of AIDS right now and i wouldn’t have to listen to this CD any more. BEST SONG: “You Don’t Need a Doctor” BEST SONG TITLE: “Life Amazes Us Despite Our Miserable Future” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: Actually, this record is often interesting in an I.R.S. Records circa 1980 way, but, i mean, if you name your band something like The Robocop Kraus and you put out an album on friggin’ Epitaph that sounds like the singer of Gang Of Four emoting over some kind of rinky-dink Stereo Total background music, you kinda set yourself up for whatever wise-ass crap the reviewer deigns to fling your way. –norb (Epitaph)


RIVERBOAT GAMBLERS, THE:
To the Confusion of Our Enemies: CD
I’m not gonna sit here on my ass and gush like Niagara Falls about how great it is having a band like The Riverboat Gamblers alive and kicking the last nine years. Anyone who’s heard them already knows that, right? Right. But I do wanna reiterate the two golden rules that matter when it comes to being in a band: 1) what your band does in the recording studio, and 2) what your band does live on a stage. That’s it. Everything else is just hot fucking air, and there’s quite a bit of shit bands out there to prove this point. It can restore faith to see a band that takes these two golden rules to heart and consistently delivers the goods. And with this record, the Gamblers are delivering it yet again, in fucking spades. There’s some heavier production this time around with Confusion, but don’t let that scare you—you’ll be nodding your head and muttering “Holy shit!” under your breath by the time you’re halfway done listening to the opening ass-stomper, “True Crime.” Other pummels to the kidneys in the same vein are “The Song We Used to Call ‘Wasting Time,’” “The Gamblers Try Their Hand at International Diplomacy,” “The Art of Getting Fucked,” and one of my faves, “Rent Is Due.” The rock’n’roll songwriting is shining brilliantly here, especially with the tracks “Biz Loves Sluts,” “Don’t Bury Me... I’m Still Not Dead,” “On Again off Again,” “Year of the Rooster,” and the would-make-Angus-Young-proud riffed gem, “Uh Oh!” I even hear glimmers of D-Generation on the cuts “The Curse of the Ivory Coast” and “Black Nothing of a Cat” (and for those of you groaning, fuck you—that’s a good thing). There’s even some brief acappella happening here about unicorns, courtesy of Throw Rag’s Capt. Sean Doe. Ex-Catheters (now Tall Birds) drummer Davey Brozowski must be given credit where credit’s due—he did a real fine job filling in on the drum stool for the recording of this record. Simply put, the RBG are as fantastic a band as they are good people, so it’s a no-brainer that you want this new record for your audio pleasure, Corky (yes genius, that’s right—Corky. As in TV’s Life Goes on). I hear the RBG are gonna be part of this summer’s Warped Tour again. Christ, I’d really hate to be in any of the bands having to follow their set. That shit could get really embarrassing. –dale (Volcom)


RICHARD CHEESE:
Best of: CD
Imagine Tony Bennett singing “Baby’s Got Back” and you’ll have a pretty clear understanding of what to expect from this. I have no doubt this disc of big band covers of Slipknot, Van Halen, Limp Bizkit, and Snoop Dogg tunes will grow old pretty damned quick, but right now it’s the funniest thing I’ve heard all week. –jimmy (Surfdog)


REVEREND BEAT MAN & THE CHURCH OF HERPES:
Your Favourite Position Is On Your Knees: CD
There’s a haunted cathedral somewhere that needs to have this music playing as parishioners make their way down the aisle to take unholy communion. Reverend Beat Man speaks his lyrics like Froggy from the Our Gang television series. The music consists of creaky organs and creepy industrial electro rhythms. “Home” is a fucking masterpiece. I’m renouncing my involvement with the Congregational House of Genital Warts and taking the membership class at the Church of Herpes. –benke (Voodoo Rhythm)


RED ALERT:
Blazin’ Through the Years: CD
A collection from a band smart enough to realize that their previous compilation on Captain Oi is still in print and most likely readily available most anywhere, and so have culled this “best of” from rarities and alternate sessions. Although “new” versions (more recent than the originals, but they’re still thirteen years old) of popular tunes like “In Britain” and “SPG” can be found here, the bulk of the songs, twenty in all, come from more recent fare, providing a nice bookend to the Captain Oi collection rather than just a rehash of the same old shit. If you’re a fan of their older stuff, pick this up and see what you’ve been missing. –jimmy (SOS)


RAT BYTE/CONCRETE FACELIFT:
Split: 7"
Concrete Facelift. Rat Byte. What a cool couple names for bands. Just hearing their names makes me want to drink a Pepsi and go skate. C.F. actually surprised me with the lyrical coolness. I feel the exact same way! With every one of their songs! If there was some sort of soundtrack to my life, I would want to have the song “It” play every morning as I wake up. They have a way of describing exactly how I feel about caffeine in a minute of skate thrashy hardcore. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing new here. You’ve heard this stuff before. Both bands play similar simple, fast, early ‘80s skate punk: JFA, early Suicidal Tendencies, and so on. I really like this split though. It’s good to see kids are still skating to good music. Or making good music to skate to, which is much more important. Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Rat Byte has a song called Raditude. It is impossible to be any cooler in my book. –Guest Contributor (FNS / Party Time)


RADIUM SCREEN, THE:
White Faces: CD
Post-Normal, mostly emotionless new wave stuff that starts off sounding like a funkier She Wants Revenge and ends up on a more breathy, ethereal note. –jimmy (LaLaLa)


RADIO BEATS:
Ready to Shake: CD
Hot fucking dawg!!! This is the kind of blown out, scumbag rock’n’roll that makes me want to do back flips. So lo-fi I’d bet a grand it was recorded under water with caveman clubs for drum sticks and dinosaur teeth for guitar picks. Songs about takin’ chicks home, takin’ chicks to the backseat of your car, and chicks givin’ it up, all played fast and dirty. Includes an Angry Samoans cover. Fuck yes. –benke (Big Neck)


PUSH TO TALK:
Self-Titled: CD
I’m guessing these guys spend a lot of time at ‘80s dance clubs, but only actually dance when The Cure comes on in that so-sad-I-have-to-dance way. –megan (Doghouse)


PROZACS, THE:
Live at CBGB: CD
Like the title suggests, it is a live recording of The Prozacs from Massachusetts at CBGB’s. The first song, “Penguin Rock,” sounds like a carbon copy of Blink 182 and a tinge of annoying Avril Lavigne. They cover Screeching Weasel songs and they have songs about high school escapades such as prom, cleverly titled “Prom Night.” (Quick comment: from the CD photos they look a little too old to STILL be singing about prom and high school. Just a thought.) The Prozacs would fit nicely on the tiny side stage at Warped Tour or next to a suburban kid’s Blink 182 collection, because they sound exactly the same. Too bad. I liked their band name. I’ll just give the CD to my younger cousin who is still in that phase. –jenny (Cheapskate)


PROUDFLESH:
Self-Titled: CD
I find it interesting that Sothira continues to lay the mess that is Indochina solely at the feet of the West, and says nothing about all the fun that was had there with no help from the West whatsoever. Shit, the Maoist Khmer Rouge alone had a ball in them killing fields in his native Cambodia. How many bodies lie under Choeung Ek and elsewhere again? Nearly two million? How many ethnic Vietnamese died by Cambodian hands during that period? How many Cambodians died by Vietnamese hands when the Vietnamese overthrew the Khmer in ‘78-79? Weren’t those governments Chinese- and Soviet-backed, respectively? I’m not getting all patriotic or anything, ‘cause I’m the last person who would do that, but it seems to me there’s enough blame to go around and that any group with a supposed anarchist background wouldn’t hesitate to point fingers in all the appropriate directions, and that doesn’t seem to be the case here. Seems a little hypocritical to be singing about My Lai and not utter a peep about Tuol Sleng, bro. Speaking of hypocrisy, how does a former anarcho-posterboy turned stockbroker justify singing antiwar tunes? That’s like a politician singing songs against his corporate overseer, ain’t it? Seeing as the market thrives on war, it would follow that anyone who works in the market profits, no matter how indirectly, from the misery and death of others, right? There’s a reason why them towers were singled out and it wasn’t just ‘cause they were tall. Singing songs decrying your chosen revenue source is kinda like biting the hand that pays for them bitchin’ motorcycles and posh living quarters. As for the music itself, imagine Crucifix reimagined as a Sunset Strip rock band, singing love songs to “My Lai My Love.” While I imagine their reliance on their old band’s name (and frankly, the Jimmy Crucifix lineup was easily the worst) will no doubt bring in the dough from non-discerning punter/punkers with Hot Topic-bought “Dehumanization” t-shirts, I think it’s safe to say that some musicians and their contributions are best left behind in the mists of the past. –jimmy (Wired Gnome)


PORCH MOB:
Can of Worms: CD
I thought I liked this until I realized it just kept putting me to sleep. I needed the sleep though. –megan (Can of Worms, no address)


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