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Record Reviews

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Below are some recently posted reviews.

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RAMONES:
Wierd Tales of the Ramones: Box Set
Around four years ago, Rhino Records did an awfully wonderful thing for us high priests belonging to the Cult of Ramones: they re-issued the first eight LPs in their re-mastered entirety on CD plus bonus tracks of cuts including different vocal versions, demo versions, and live versions. Some of these bonus tracks were also tunes that never made it onto the original LPs to begin with (the Subterranean Jungle non-LP cuts are fucking brilliant). Being par for the course with Rhino, the packaging and liner notes on these re-releases are top notch and I can’t recommend ‘em enough if you haven’t replaced your worn-out Ramones vinyl with these yet. They’d also be good gifts for your friends who just had their first newborns. Screw baby blankets and Johnny Jumpers. Put together an eight-disc set of “Baby’s First Ramones.” The kid will thank you later on in life if he/she grows up with any sense. Now, getting to this box—when I first heard about it, I was a bit skeptical being there’s been a few “greatest hits” Ramones releases over the past few years. But when I heard that a collaboration of comic artists were pitching in their talents for an included book with this and that Rhino was heading the deal, I was sold. Quote Homer J. Simpson: “Done and done!” The book is packed with artists’ Ramones offerings from whom a lotta fans will recognize right off the bat, like John Holmstrom (Punk magazine), whose artwork graced the Rocket to Russia and Road to Ruin LPs, not mentioning about a bazillion Ramones tour shirts. Other noted artists include Sergio Aragones (MAD Magazine), Matt Groening (Life In Hell, The Simpsons), Xaime Hernandez (Love and Rockets), Bill Griffith (Zippy The Pinhead) and a whole bunch more. I get the idea that this book was supposed to be primarily for comic book artists, but I personally would’ve like to seen Chris Cooper (Coop) included here. If I ain’t mistaken, he did the Ramones’ We’re Outta Here box art. He also draws one hell of an example of what a beautiful woman looks like. The first three discs include Ramones tuneage from the thirteen studio LPs plus cuts from the Acid Eaters cover album. The fourth disc, a DVD, includes the Lifestyles of the Ramones video collection of Ramones production videos plus five later videos the band produced in the ‘90s. Upon further examination of the liner notes, it seems Johnny Ramone compiled all the disc material for this before passing on last year, and it’s just a damn shame that he, Joey or Dee Dee aren’t here to see it. Seymour Stein, the man who once ran Sire Records and signed the Ramones said something awhile back that hit the nail right on the head. He said bands like the Ramones don’t come along once in a lifetime; they come along once. Life’s too short, my friends. PLAY LOUD. –dale (Rhino)


RAMBO:
Bring It!: LP
There’s a reason that Rambo’s huge in certain circles: like Propagandhi, Dillinger Four and Against Me!, they manage to convey an “us against them” kind of desperation in a manner that still remains inclusive, that allows you to feel that things are possible, and that makes you feel that this is a world that isn’t totally void of compassion or meaning. While Rambo sonically sounds nothing like the aforementioned bands, they all have (or had) that same inherent undercurrent of rage, that same ability to deal with overtly political issues in a way that’s still accessible to the listener. And the fact that this is some of the most tuneful, furious and intelligent hardcore to come rumbling down the avenue in some time doesn’t hurt either. Despite the lack of Mike Bukowski cover art, this record just kills from start to finish; songs like “That Lump in Your Throat” and “Kids Who Mosh Like Assholes Must Make Selfish Lovers” will hopefully be on mixtapes for years and years to come. Still, this literally has to be one of the ugliest LP covers I’ve seen in years. I’m not necessarily faulting the artist, just saying it was a poor idea for a cover, the end result being if I didn’t know who this band was, I wouldn’t pick this thing up in a hundred years. Both CD and LP versions come with a live DVD that highlights their ‘03 European tour, along with a bunch of additional material. If you’re wondering about the hype, it’s well founded. If you’re wondering why everyone’s talking about this band, there’s a reason. Seek it out, read the words, feel it, and wear the grooves out on the thing. –keith (Havoc)


PROVOKED:
Prepare for the Cold: CD
The best thing Provoked have going for them is that their vocalist is an absolute dead ringer for Blaine from the Accused, which can never be a bad thing in my book. Bummer is that he shares the mike with a backing vocalist that sounds like the sasquatch from Harry and the Hendersons, which kind of tempers the power of the band a bit. Profane Existence certainly didn’t skimp on the packaging with this one. It’s got a twelve-panel booklet, every song gets its own page with lyrics and illustrations, and the cover itself is quite a picker-upper, featuring a bald, naked woman clutching her own face as a baby, still attached to her via the umbilical cord, freezing to death in the snow at her feet. Oh, and she’s next to a graveyard and there’s a stealth bomber dropping explosives right next to them. So, picture that in your mind and you’ve got a pretty good idea of what Provoked probably sounds like. They’ve got some good moments on here, but if they just had Harry cool it a bit and kicked the tempo up a notch, then they’d go from decent to memorable. As it stands, I’m not convinced: if I want distilled rage and intelligent political diatribes, I’ll go listen to Warsawpack or Rambo, neither of whom, to my knowledge, have a hairless vagina or dead babies on their record covers. –keith (Profane Existence)


PROVOKED:
Infant in the Womb of Warfare: CD
I believe the LP version of this was released a couple of years ago. So, I’m not sure if the tracks on the end of this CD from the Path of Destruction split are bonus tracks. But we do have the internet and I find that this CD is being released to coincide with the band’s new full-length titled Prepare for the Cold, which introduces a new singer. It’s angry-as-fuck, spitting-vinegar female vocals over crusty d-beat that pummels along at a raging pace. At breaks in some of the songs, the vocals are sung with a sort of sorrow that changes things up. But the vocal attack is pure mean. The band, on top of playing fast, does go into metal territory at moments but it doesn’t overwhelm the songs. They focus on compassionate lyrics on topics that are not light or fun: commentary of things that they question. Now I have to put the new one on the shopping list. So many releases, so little money. –don (Profane Existence)


PREMONITIONS OF WAR/BENUMB:
Split: CD
Benumb are metalheads from Northern California who offer up hardcore mixed with a huge helping of grindcore, the likes of and speed of the good ol’ Charles Bronson 10” and a slight wink to Aus Rotten lead vocals. Premonitions of War deliver straight forward metal which isn’t all that bad, and they almost steal the show with their cover of the blues classic, “Born Under a Bad Sign.” This is definitely a necessity for your grindcore or metal libraries. –mrz (Thorp)


POPE, THE:
The Jazzman Cometh: CD and Book
Noise rock that sounds like Unsane in a bad mood. Playing this loud might actually work well as a defoliant as well. –jimmy (Wantage USA)


PELVIS WESLEY:
Oh My Goodness, How We Rock!: CD-R
To add a bit to Nørb’s astute commentary, Pelvis Wesley have mastered the born-in-a-cement-mixer tumbling of Dick Army, the vocal and enunciation pattern of John Ransom of the Smut Peddlers (weird), and the “feels like winter, but it’s entirely danceable and powerful” feel of Rites of Spring. Oh My Goodness… sounds like it was recorded through gigantic sponges, but that’s part of the charm. Contains quite possibly the first song I’ve ever heard dedicated to the art of zine making, too. (“A cut and paste fighter, from Zapf Chancery to American Typewriter.”) Neat. –todd (Pelvis Wesley)


PELVIS WESLEY:
Oh My Goodness, How We Rock!: CD-R
Fuck the review, i just want to print the song titles: “All My Friends Have Robotic Necks,” “We Will Electrocute You in the Ass (Revisited),” “Mikey Died Eating Pop Rocks (And You’re a Dumb Motherfucker),” “God Bless Johannes Gutenberg, Part Two,” “And God Said Yo, Let There Be Moms,” “Head Like a Holy Shit My Head Hurts,” “Some Suggestions for Pleasant Dining,” “26 and Hacking,” “Assassin of the Cockroach Nation,” “Sarah’s All Peristaltic,” “Live Fast, Sleep In,” “Taco Bell Girl (Extended Napalm Death Dance Mix Version),” and “Oh My Goodness, How We Rock.” ...i think the best actual line from a song is “Science will save us, my cel phone range has improved immensely,” but i’m going to have to lodge a complaint about someone else rhyming “boner” with “toner.” I HAVE THE PATENT ON THAT ONE, DAMMIT!!! BEST SONG: “Live Fast, Sleep In” REVIEW: Sounds like 1985 basement punk/core. So? FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: “It started out as a joke, you know.” –norb (Pelvis Wesley)


PEDESTRIANS, THE:
Self-Titled: 7"
Sometimes I think I shouldn’t write record reviews because when I really like something, I have a tendency fall back on saying “this is rad” like I’m about to do right now: this record is rad. An Effigies comparison fits pretty well: inventive, plowing drums; guitars that sound thick and heavy without being slow or thuggish; and vocals that are forceful but still intelligible. It’s more raw and modern and it doesn’t have the post-punk leanings of songs like “Security,” but it’s definitely prototypical broad-shouldered, mid-tempo Chicago punk. An amazing debut by a band that hopefully we’ll hear much more from in the near future. –Josh (Southkore)


PARKINSONS, THE:
Up for Sale: 7"

British bands of sizable merit who aren’t recorded at Toe Rag Studios are few and far between in this day and age, which is why this doozy by the Parkinsons is so welcome and unexpected. Soldiering on in the almost-forgotten genre of UK Punk Bands With Lots Of Guitars That Don’t Suck, this trio somehow manages to emit four catchy, anthemic, and loud punk rock depth charges that appear to be at least partially motivated by the golden age of Brit Guitar Punk—let’s say the Clash’s second album and the Professionals in theory—without—and this is the important part—sounding like some ridiculous European thing that would be beneath the notice of a reasonable individual. Plus, on the cover, they look like cool guys, so there ya go. The Parkinsons are selling, but who’s buying? I guess i am. BEST SONG: “Heroes and Charmers” BEST SONG TITLE: “New Wave” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: This record claims to have been recorded live by Johnny Scum on “07/04/2005,” which, to me, seemed impossible, since that would have meant that this record was recorded, mastered, pressed, shipped from England to Razorcake, then forwarded to me in Wisconsin, all in the same month—but then i realized that, in Europe, “07/04” means April 7th, not July 4th, so, like, never mind.

–norb (Wrench)


OUT TO WIN:
Beg for Life: CD
Wolves, brass knucks, and tattooed necks, oh my! Tough guy, paint-by-numbers hardcore filled to the gills with references to revenge, “getting yours,” and how Out To Win is apparently “coming to get” you, the listener. Also: revenge, dead bodies, being sick of bullshit, revenge, war, and yet even more calls for revenge. In the liner notes, the various band members thank, among others, the New York Giants, the Indianapolis Colts, fishing and gambling, and they also warn someone named Jesse (who is apparently a “stank bitch”) to heretofore watch his or her back, and that he or she will eventually “get” his or hers. These guys are the near-perfect embodiment of the fact that this entire genre of music seems laden-to-overflowing with what are essentially jocks with tat sleeves. You read enough lyrics like these throughout the years and terms like “brotherhood” just starts to become synonymous with “dipshit gang mentality.” You want my opinion? Out To Win should just hang up their guitars and hit a couple yoga classes—loosen up and relax, guys, not everyone is out to “get” you. And even if they are, chances are good it’s because of your own swinging-dick, us-versus-them, punch-first-think-later macho posturing asses. –keith (Thorp)


OSCARS, THE:
Techno Primitivo: CD
I can’t figure out these guys, but I suspect that they may still be engaged in the same process. There are a lot of different sounds on this one. Some of it sounds like early Invisible Men records—very raw, very sloppy, and very fun, like wreck your parents’ rec room with a barrel of beer and thirty of your closest friends. Other songs have a bit more refinement to them (if such a word can be appropriately applied), and then there are tunes that seems to be pointless experimentation with a keyboard and a tambourine. There’s too much ridiculous crap on this. If this were cut down to the ten or eleven best tunes, it would achieve a consistent level of fun, trashy rock’n’roll, but right now the skip button gets used too much. –The Lord Kveldulfr (Bootleg)


OMEGALORD:
Hammer Down: CD
You know when you end up having to go to Guitar Center to get some strings or something and there’s always some dumbass subnormal redneck working there and he won’t put down the Dime Slime that he’s been shredding on long enough to help you with what you need? This band is made up of five dudes like that. Completely retarded (and not in a good way) heavy rock that sounds like third-rate Pantera. I know Todd only gave me this to review because the first song is called “Skull Bong.” Cool song titles aside, this thing is a ridiculous waste of everyone’s time. –ben (Omegalord)


NUMBER TWELVE LOOKS LIKE YOU:
Nuclear Sad Nuclear: CD
Imagine, if you will, the speed metal parts of the first Naked City record done longer and by less creative musicians. If you like your Napalm Death spiked with a bit of art and whimsy, this is for you. –The Lord Kveldulfr (Eyeball)


NOVILLERO:
Aim Right for the Holes in Their Lives: CD
Finally—a record that breaks through the morass of balderdash. A light in the dark, creepy woods you were warned to stay away from—you get the idea. I’m reading their liner notes and it says that they were originally going to use their piano player’s last name as the name of their band but they ran into some legal issues. His name? Rod Slaughter. Okay, I totally made that up, but they can use that anyway. But to cut the crap and get to the music. “Laissez-Faire System” rails against the corporate hierarchy and has some nice Moog parts from Sean Stevens. “Abbey” features melodic vocals from bassist Grant Johnson as he sings, “knocked a pane of glass out of my front window/that broke against the ground two stories below.” “Dean” is a full tilt rocker fueled by Dave Berthiqume’s precise fills that rags on some local actor who walks around town with a major attitude. This tune makes me think what Joe Jackson’s Look Sharp record would sound like if the Jam’s rhythm section sat in on some sessions. Excellent stuff. I believe this band is from Winnipeg, Canada so I’m sure Nardwuar has already had coffee with them. But check out their website too—they have a cool cover of a New Order song on there as well. –koepenick (Mint)


NOVEMBER TRIALS:
Cover Your Tracks: CD
The recording is horrible but the music isn’t. The band sounds like a premature Cursive. They still need to develop into something more than a third rate knockoff. They need their own sound and the lyrics need some kind of psychedelic drug to make them more interesting. But if they got their shit together, who knows? The second track, “Dance Dance Revolution,” is better than the first. The drums sound like cardboard boxes. With all that shit said, it’s not horrible, they just need work. I wonder how old they are and how long it took to record this record. My guess is between seventeen and twenty years old, three months. –Guest Contributor (no address)


NØB DYLAN AND THE NØBSØLETES:
Positively 12 Stiff Dylans: CD
This is Rev. Nørb covering Bob Dylan songs with the Obsoletes as his backing band. If you hate Bob Dylan, don’t worry, it doesn’t sound like him. And if you hate Rev. Nørb too, it doesn’t really sound like him, either, or at least the stuff that he’s known for. (I’ve never heard the Obsoletes, so it might actually sound like them.) What it DOES sound like is the Replacements, circa Hootenanny, but tighter and not as drunk, and also with Rev. Nørb singing Bob Dylan’s lyrics over the music. From the liner notes, which are pretty damn hysterical, you can tell that they pretty much just did this for the hell of it, and at the very least, it’s fun to listen to. So there. –Josh (Alternative Tentacles [no, seriously, Alternative Tentacles])


NO USE FOR A NAME:
Keep Them Confused: CD
I could only take this band with a grain of salt. I liked them at moments and couldn’t stand them at other times. I dreaded having to listen to this. But something about this record makes this stand out. Without looking back at their past releases, this release on its own is pretty good. My pop sensibilities kicked in and I really listened and enjoyed this. The production is dead-on. The songs have a maturity that makes this release stand above what they have done before. They have better hooks and the silliness of the past seems to be gone. They also seem to have walked away from a lot of the formula that made you know that it was them. I like the experimentation with sounds here. The strings and keyboards really add to the emotions of the songs. This might be the release that gets them lured them away to a major. Radio should pick this up. The fans they already have are going to eat this up. –don (Fat)


NIX:
Self-Titled: 7"
Damn, I hate reviewing friend’s bands sometimes. There’s always the obvious reason, in which if you don’t really like the band, you almost feel obligated to accommodate a positive review, for the sake of the friendship. Luckily, this is not the case with the NIX. I have a different problem. I want to accurately describe this stuff, but I am having difficulty pinpointing what it sounds like, and wanting to write a really accurate review. It took me a few listens to get into the recording. Their live shows sound much different to me. It’s fast-paced, late ‘70s four-chord punk rock. This sounds like songs you would find on some early Killed by Death collection that you can’t believe you never heard before because they’re so cool. Melodic with a lot of catchy hooks, but not poppy. There’s solid lyrical subject matter too. Stealing beer, listening to records, shit talking, and watching horror movies. What else is there worth singing about? This 7” has four songs on one side at 45 RPM. Nothing on the B-side. This is, as most of Rob’s projects, very much worth checking out. After all this said though, I still have to admit to liking the Flip-tops way better. Sorry. –Guest Contributor (Self-released, no address)


NICE BOYS:
You Won’t See Me Anymore b/w Lipstick Love: 7"
Whoo, this is some amazing power pop! There is not even a hint of punk here from this great Portland band—just pure Nick Lowe/the Sweet/the Raspberries-influenced glammy power pop. I’ve seen ‘em live a coupla times now and the Nice Boys are neck deep in great songs. This band just absolutely has everything right, one smash hit after another. Last time they even busted out a Slade cover! They are so far from where other current power pop bands are. They are not drawing from the same well as all the other garage-y power pop bands that have been turning up since Fink N Fifi and the Registrators went that direction. Much deeper stuff here. I’ll bet these dudes know every Dave Edmunds song ever recorded. This is exactly the type of thing I hope to hear when I pick up one of those Screaming Apple albums, but rarely do. Just a phenomenal, instant classic single. Bring on the full length! –frame (Discourage)


NEGATIVE APPROACH:
Ready to Fight: CD
Demos and assorted live tracks spanning the entire career of this Midwestern powerhouse of a band, from their first recordings in their singer’s basement to the last performance of the original lineup. The music is pissed and to the point, and the sound quality of the tracks here, fifty in all, are, at their worst, good. This complements nicely the Total Recall CD Touch & Go put out a while back, especially because it contains some tunes that have never been released in any form prior to this release. –jimmy (Reptilian)


NATION OF FINKS:
Return of the Pissed Off Bastards: 7"
Fast, catchy hardcore with European accents, a lot of the back-and-forth drumming technique that made F.Y.P famous in the ‘90s, and great song names to boot! Oh yeah, the cover artwork has an amazing depiction of a bloody-nosed Nixon punching the shit out of a fat Elvis. Good stuff! –mrz (Kangaroo)


NARCOLEPTIC YOUTH:
Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed: CD
Four new tunes, a couple of covers (Misfits’ “Bullet” and the Damned’s “Ignite”) and five live tracks from a show at the Orange Pavilion are what you get here. All are fine and dandy, but I’m most stoked that one of the aforementioned live tracks is “Barbi in Bondage,” a tune which, if I may be so bold to say, is one of the best punk tunes of the past decade. These boys serve it up-tempo, loud and snotty, just like it should be. –jimmy (Galeforce)


NAKED AGGRESSION:
Heard It All Before: CD
This album is a compilation of the first decade of Naked Aggression with three unreleased early demo tape songs. There are also three bonus tracks of their late guitarist, Phil Suchomel, playing classical guitar. Basically, if you already have any Naked Aggression albums you will already have most of these songs, so this is only worth it if you want a more complete record collection. The political songs and unique high pitch squeal of singer, Kirsten Patches, have a soft spot in my heart. In a women’s studies class full of ignorant pop-star-loving rich kids, I played “Lock Us Away” for my media presentation—I don’t even remember the point or my argument—but the horror on my classmates faces was priceless. For that moment of triumph, I like this band, and coincidently this CD has some shining moments, since it is primarily old Naked Aggression songs. –jenny (SOS)


MS. 45:
Pop!: 7"
This female-led band has a lot going for them. The first song, “Yadda Yadda Yadda,” sounds like the Ramones going power pop—if they were still in the garage. The second track, “Be Like You,” was more in the surf vein. Now a flip of the record. My favorite track of this release, “Easier,” was a more of a straight-up pop number: great melodies and vocal delivery. If they ever re-record it with better production and speed it up, it would be absolute perfection for me. The closer, “Spin,” came out with the most punk attitude. Good stuff. The record geek in me also enjoyed that it’s limited to two hundred and pressed on clear vinyl! –don (Ms. 45)


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