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Below are some recently posted reviews.

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Situationist Comedy: CD
Todd wouldn’t shut up about these guys and I hadn’t even heard them so he sent me a copy. I was supposed to see them last summer but they cancelled several dates of their tour and mine was the first one they dropped. I have a feeling that if my first exposure to them was live I’d feel differently about them but I guess I’ll have to wait to find that out. My first few listens didn’t impress me much – I thought they sounded too much like too many other bands, and maybe they do, but repeated listens (as per Todd’s recommendation) have driven the whole thing further under my skin and my current take is that they sound much like many of the RIGHT bands (I can’t even tell which ones anymore) and I guess that’s really all you can hope for in the end. Everyone sounds like someone, might as well sound like someone good.
–Cuss Baxter (Fat)

Self-titled: CD
This CD starts out strong with a sloppy ripper of a first song but then something goes horribly wrong and we wind up with a drawn out and overly elaborate mating dance between a guitar and a drum machine that lasts for pretty much the rest of the disc. Best I can tell, this so-called "intellectual metal" is the work of one man, a Dave Didonato, who also plays guitar in J Church. I don't think I've ever heard J Church, but as of now, I'm less likely than ever to want to hear them. Too many bands, too little time. Plus I'm a little leery of anyone who's spent this much time shut up in his bedroom with his guitar and his metronome. Sci-fi geek punk just leaves me a little cold. The cover of this CD shows Mr. Didonato (I think) with a bloodied nose – something of a common sight, I'm guessing; with music this annoying, he's probably been fed more than a few knuckle sandwiches in his time. I've always had a soft spot for bands like the Melvins or Flipper who brazenly fuck with their audiences, tripping up the listeners' expectations and assumptions – but it's a tricky thing to pull off. Annoying can all too easily turn into self-indulgent. And when that happens, well, that's when indulgent little geeks get popped in the beezer. There's also a poorly drawn, pixilated cartoon showing Dave D. and his drum machine about to get the algebra beat out of them by an unruly mob of mohawked punkers. Obviously, the role of "annoyer" is one he relishes. And I respect the hell outta that – to a point. Today's Lesson: Spending too much time with a drum machine is a little like spending too much time with a blow-up sex doll. It might be time to get out of the house once in a while, Dave ol' buddy.
–aphid (Honey Bear)

A Step in Natural Selection: CD
Screamo vocal tendencies mixed with some really jangly and angular pleasant melodies (think D.C. post-core). I remember being at a show that this band played and intensely disliking their music. While this album doesn’t make me a fan by any stretch of the imagination, I wasn’t in as much of a hurry to skip to the next record.
–scott (Lola)

Out of the Ashes: CD
Revisionist anarchy-core, meaning it’s heavy on the oi influences and yet maintains the stereotypical sloganeering first popularized by Crass, utilized by Discharge and Conflict and thereafter taken to ridiculous extremes. While I don’t disagree with most of the sentiments expressed here, their lyrics come off as one big whine and their fuckin’ use of the fuckin’ word “fuck” was pretty fuckin’ ridiculous if not fuckin’ gratuitous, and didn’t fuckin’ make them sound any more fuckin’ angry than they fuckin’ did before, which was the intended fuckin’ effect, I fuckin’ think. Overall, they were better than some I’ve heard wallowing in this pigeonhole, but this complacency with sounding just like everyone else is just exasperating. Ain’t a damn thing defiant about being yet another cheap knockoff. Then again, I guess individuality and creativity are anathema when you’re “another cheap product for the consumer’s head.”
–jimmy (Punk Core)

: Split 7"
Decibators (spelled “deciBators” on the label: a hint) rock straight up, in the American style of many Scandinavian bands of today; easy enough. RNCD (spelled “RNCD” on the label: an acronym), however, present significant problems for the seasoned pigeonholer (at least one who tries to avoid using the word “quirky”): they’ve got a sort of post-hardcore (circa '85) sound with repetitive dual-gender vocals, repetitive bass line, guitar that goes for the head rather than the gut and slightly offbeat drums. I can’t think of anyone to compare them to: I’ve forgotten every record like this a week after I ceased to own it. Which is to say, it’s pretty good on some level.
–Cuss Baxter (Rooster Cow)

Work Ethic: CD
I tried. To. Care, but your Hard-As-Fuck! stance. And your diaperbaby whining. Sent me to bed. My word, it’s boring.
–Cuss Baxter (Blackout!)

Vertigo: CD
I had almost forgotten that shoegazing could sound like this, probably because I sold every last noise-pop record I ever owned that was this horrible to a record store which pandered shamelessly to Anglophilic Britpop fans who wore their bangs in their eyes, boys and girls alike. This is rock for the no self-esteem set, music for people who long for records that were released twelve years ago but still want to pretend to keep up with the times. While I’m sure the band would call this emo (and they’d be right if they were referring to self-indulgent shit in musical form), it has still been a long time since I’ve heard a record which is this singularly awful, regardless of the genre. On the bright side, I’ve always wanted an orange coaster.
–scott (Excursions Into The Abyss)

Heathen Radio: CD
Strong, lean, fast-moving, straight-to-the-point punk. No frills, no bullshit. This has the same concentrated manic energy as a good welterweight boxing match where both fighters just pepper each other's muscles with stinging jabs. Zero art. Zero filler. A straight shot of bare-knuckled, unapologetic punk rock. Refreshing.
–aphid (Go Kart)

Win the Battle: CD
I really wish i wasn't assigned this CD to review, as, for the last eight or ten years, i've avoided contact with any new D.O.A. product simply out of respect for my teenage memories of how great they used to be. I mean, shit, Something Better Change was a frickin' beacon in the unholy miasma of crap, piss, retch and swill that passed for "underground" music in 1980 – it was LOUD and FAST and ANGRY and ROCKIN' and GUTTURAL and MELODIC and STIRRING and PASSIONATE and about eighty-seven other fuckin' capitalized adjectives in an era where true Punk Rock sightings were few and far between. Absolutely positively everyone should own that album (and, NO, Bloodied But Unbowed does not count), recent CD reissue quite acceptable (since it doesn't skip during "Thirteen" like all the vinyl copies i've ever heard). Hardcore '81 was a worthy followup in the Shorter/Faster/Dumber spirit of the moment, and the War on 45 8-song 12" which closed out '82 was a surprisingly successful blend of classic D.O.A. sounds with more traditional ROCK influences. After that, i have no fucking CLUE what happened. Let's Wreck the Party – with the exception of their cover of "Singin' in the Rain" and the song that immediately preceded it, "Race Riot" (since it sorta ran right into "Singin' in the Rain" and you kind of couldn't escape it) – was a total pile of limp-ass crap. On 1987's True (North), Strong and Free, the band actually managed to come up with three great songs (out of ten total), but had to re-record a song off an early 45 ("Nazi Training Camp") and a fucking Bachman-Turner Overdrive cover to do so. In 1990, the band called it quits, but not before leaving the world with Murder, one of the best albums of 1990 (admittedly due to lack of competition), half of which was really quite good. If i'm hired to write the screenplay for Get Out of My Life: The D.O.A. Story, it ends right there. Unfortunately, that is not the case: The band – to my everlasting horror! – reformed, and began to emit entirely new strains of ill-advised records. The first reunion record, 13 Flavours of Doom, was kind of okay, i guess; the next one, Loggerheads, was and is, with the exception of the two songs penned by the (tragically deceased) drummer, one of the absolutely positively WORST RECORDS i have ever heard in my LIFE (any genre). I stopped buying D.O.A. records after that; it was too much like watching a septuagenarian Tony Curtis bungle his way thru his lines in the stage musical version of Some Like It Hot – horrible, tragic, sad, and not the least bit compelling in its horrible tragic sadness. The really sad thing is that there haven't been any wholesale changes to the basic D.O.A. sound in the last twenty years, really – it's just that they used to be great, and now they suck utterly. My only theory is that when you're startin' out as a band, you're just kind of flailing in the darkness, trying to make contact; you simply wanna give vent to the demons inside your head. At some point in time, your flailing will beget you an audience, and i suppose one might stop writing songs in hopes of being heard, and start writing songs with the presupposition that they are going to be heard at that time – and perhaps this is the crux of the Great Shittiness. Dunno. All i know is that not only does the band re-do two songs off of 1987's True (North), Strong and Free – a record, mind you, where they were already so thin with songs that they hadda dip into songs they recorded in the late '70s! – and "Dead Men Tell No Tales" which i think was on Murder – but they also cover the Subhumans' "Fuck You" for like the third different time on record. I mean, ??? ...as a workin' joe myself, i don't begrudge anybody the right to make a living (or, for that matter, even to play music); as a D.O.A. fan, however, i'll go on record as saying the records they've put out in the last ten years are fucking god awful and i wish they'd stop releasing them. BEST SONG TITLE: "I Am Canadian" BEST SONG: I dunno, is this counting the stuff they already recorded fifteen years ago or no? FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: The band's slogan has long been the equation "TALK - ACTION = 0." Recall from 8th grade algebra, if you will, that we can do anything to one side of any given equation so long as we perform the identical operation on the other side. Therefore, let us add the term "ACTION" to both sides. This gives us the following modified equation: "TALK - ACTION + ACTION = 0 + ACTION." Since (- ACTION) and (+ ACTION) cancel each other out, the equation can now be written TALK = 0 + ACTION. Since (0 + x) = x, (0 + ACTION) = ACTION. Therefore, in its simplest form, "TALK - ACTION = 0" can be written TALK = ACTION. Sad, isn't it?
–norb (Sudden Death)

Stockholm Slump: CD
First off, how the fuck does one pronounce the band's name? "Quote-Demons-Unquote?" I can't figure out if it's genius in our time, or mere idiocy on a grand scale, like when Social Distortion always used to write out their name with quotation marks AND a hyphen before they could afford to have people write it out for them. My computer says that, alphabetically, "Demons" comes before both ? and the Mysterians and the 101ers (to say nothing of the A's), thus i suppose the kronas would roll right in if more record stores had a " section, but ALL TYPOGRAPHICAL MYSTERY PROTOCOLS ASIDE, i'll go on record as saying that i'm not quite floored, not quite bored with this Scandinavian Rock Posse. Were i to describe their sound as i find fit, i'd say they sounded like the Nomads playing New Bomb Turks covers (their singer actually sounds like he learned English phonetically from Eric Davidson, therefore "dead" become "DAY-id," "degeneration" become "dee-gen-uh-RAY-shawwwn"...synthetic good ol' boy Americanese at its finest!). Were i to describe their sound not using any other bands in the description, i'd say "punked up heavy guitar rock." Were i to describe the band using no sonic references whatsoever, i'd say "the kind of a band whose album cover has red letters on a black background, plus a belt buckle." I dunno. I never really trust bands like these, because i'm never certain that they're not the second coming of the Cult, or that they don't secretly like Guns'n'Roses, or that they don't PUBLICLY like Guns'n'Roses, or any of a million other Crimes Against The Me. That said, i have no specific complaints against this band/record – I mean, it's LOUD, it's ROCK, it has MASS and IMPACT and VOLUME – it's a big ol' ROCK TORRENT – but, at the same time, it's a POLISHED and STATIC rock torrent, a rock torrent that just kinda sits there being, uh...torrential? It's just kinda THERE. It's a LOUD just kinda there, but, all the same, it's still just kinda THERE – a big loud neutral background against which little bits of sonic frippery – a maraca or a vibroslap here, a sax or piano there – become the only parts of the song that are legitimately interest-grabbing (although i will say that the bass had a nice Dukowski-esqueness in spots). Other than that i like it fine. P.S. Less Iron Crosses, more Maltese Crosses. BEST SONG TITLE: "Gang Green Eyes" BEST SONG: "Degeneration Hotel" FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: 1. A member of this band has a WHITE LEATHER JACKET (but has far less chevrons than i); 2. "Gang Green" was the nickname of the Green Bay Packers' front four in the late '70s. I once wrote a song about one of them ("Do the Dave Roller") but our guitar player refused to play it.
–norb (Gearhead)

Self-titled: CDEP
Who in the fuck in Philadelphia has the ability to make and perfectly record new, melodic hardcore? I want to shake their hand. The sound's full, all the instruments snarl, and the vocalist is right in the middle of the storm. As it should be. The Curse doesn't sound like a teen-rape band, nor do they sound like the entire band was sterilized, metronomed, click tracked and Pro-tooled to death. The drums don't sound like they were thudded and muddled on sponges, yet the Curse remains rasping and gnashing. Shiny, yet barbed, like huge loops of brand new concertina wire. This shit's so listenable and sounds so alive. If The Curse sucked – which they don't – it'd be glaringly obvious from the quality of the recording alone. The sound? Imagine Black Flag with less breathing room to get weird and angular, melded into Kid Dynamite (the vocalist and the intricate but not obvious shifts in pace, especially). To name contemporaries, I'd go with The Arsons and The Explosion, too. Great company to keep. I keep on turning this higher and wishing it was longer. Shit, yeah.
–todd (Hell Bent)

Killtime: CD
The Cruel and Unusual play solid, gnarly rock'n'roll in that great Texass tradition. They mix in equal parts Motards and the Dicks, inject a healthy amount of anger, and let it rip. Good stuff.
–sean (Mortville)

Killtime: CD
Mid-eighties OC-sounding punk rock damaged by a sweltering Texas sun. Not as crucial sounding as their previous release, but not exactly wallowing in the netherworld of suckdom, either. C’mon, give it a shot, you sissy.
–jimmy (Mortville)

The Incentive: CDEP
I’m kind of in the middle on this one. The songs are well written and are passionate in their melodic rhythm. The songs are strikingly catchy. Mid tempo songs with emo like lyrics. The jury is still out on this one.
–don ($7ppd to Rabbit)

Livin’ in Strut: CD
Nowhere near as glammy as one would presume, this femme-fronted threesome sounds most akin to Penetration (the band, dumb-ass! Don't get any of your fresh ideas just because i said "femme-fronted threesome!") when the vocals are on (although if, during a blind taste test, someone were to tell me that it was a pre-LP Girlschool 45, i'd at least entertain the possibility of believing him or her); when the vocals go off, however, the longer they remain off, the more the band sounds like – dig this – the Wipers?!?!!! (translation: Downstroked minor chords and eighth notes on the bass w/minimal if any scales/runs/fills). Keen background vocals in "Airport Novel," neat keyboards in "No Hot on Cold," other than that, this might be the kinda thing that i listen to once more in my lifetime, tops, or it might be the kinda thing that i listen to like ten times, each time wondering "why the fuck am i listening to this again?" and on the tenth time i have some kinda wack epiphany and decide it's fucking genius. Logic suggests a result somewhere in the middle. BEST SONG TITLE: "Sad Walk at Knifepoint," which i also thought was the worst song until i looked at the title (it's an instrumental), now i kinda dig it. BEST SONG: "Airport Novel" or "No Hot on Cold" FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: 1. "White Heart" starts out exactly like "I'm Not a Date (I'm an Alcoholic)" by Depo-Provera; 2. Although the band is called "Crimson Sweet," the only colors used on the CD cover are dark blue and black.
–norb (On/On Switch; www.ononswitch.com)

Some People Simply Do Not Belong: CD
I was so excited to get a CD from West Virginia. Songs about incest, Nintendo, and girls. Definitely a pop punk influenced thing, but less catchy. I give Cowtipped points for putting this out themselves, but this just didn’t do it for me. If this were a cereal, it’d be Urkel O’s. Nice try, but it just didn’t work out.
–Maddy (self-released?)

Super Amusement Machine for Your Exciting Heart: CD
If you like Jimmy Eat World, you’ll like this. I swear I won’t judge you.
–megan (Negative Progression)

Plotting to Kill Your Friends: CD
In which four lads from the UK mimic various bastard shoegazing spirits of long dead bands. These seven songs veer from slightly crunchy, vaguely rocking angular post-core to pathetic, insipid, sniveling and pretentious lyrical and musical content (see the title track: “To emulate the feeling of a dying soul comes easy. Our scars will offer us the chance to stay in touch with our bleeding, our release, and our memories can die before we have the chance to secure them.”). I’m usually in favor of bands including lyrics sheets because I like to know what they’re singing, even if I don’t know what they’re singing about, but in this case I think I would have been better off remaining blissfully ignorant.
–scott (Firefly)

Beggar b/w Witness Your Birth: 7"
I see the name “Carrion” and the bleak cover art and immediately I’m thinking “old school metal,” then I read the enclosed blurb where someone says they sound like a cross of Black Flag and King Crimson and I begin to think, “sounds great, if they can pull it off.” Well, multiple time changes and extended guitar solos don’t merit that level of praise any more than demonstrating a thorough knowledge of how to use a toilet made me the mayor of Clackamas, Oregon, but there is some good heaviness going on here; heaviness I’d place in the neighborhood of Neurosis (in the weatherbeaten, scruffy-lawned house at the bottom of the hill) and I’ll bet Carrion do their real shaking live. In fact, when they come to Clackamas they can play in the cafeteria here at City Hall. I think we’re having meatloaf that day.
–Cuss Baxter (McCarthyism)

Self-titled: CD
Some of this is sooooo good. Most of it is pretty amazing. I lose enthusiasm on a few of the tracks. The lyric sheet is made up of twelve cartoons, one for each song, with the lyrics incorporated into the comic. An idea that could easily be pulled off badly works really well because the comics are great and the print is large enough so you can read the lyrics. Plus it’s on Plan-it-x, so it’s worth the whole five bucks they’ll charge you for it. Gotta love those guys.
–megan (Plan-it-x)

Strange Men Bearing Gifts: CD
A reissue of a 1986 release by a short-lived band fronted by former Big Boy lead singer Randy “Biscuit” Turner and featuring a Jesus Lizard member or two. As can be expected, the sounds mushed together here are pretty diverse: you get everything from a jazzy neo-bop poetry piece, hardcore punk ditties, an instrumental that would’ve fit in nicely in the Cocteau Twins very early repertoire, cowboy-core and art-damaged rock all in one sitting. Considering this was recorded nigh on seventeen years ago, the tracks still sound pretty damned fresh, although I will add that the “big room” sound of the recording kinda sucks some of the power out of the performances. Still, Biscuit was/is such a great singer that this could be a fuggin’ Backstreet Boys album and would sound like the best goddamned thing out on the market. This is not to downplay the efforts of those who shared stage and vinyl with the man, but, in a scene long up to its eyeballs with warblers and shouters, Biscuit has remained a rare gem among punk singers – a dude that can back personality with actual talent. Pick this up, along with all the reissued Big Boys discs and get (re)acquainted with true greatness.
–jimmy (Touch and Go)

Back in Blue: 7" EP
They sound like how I've always wished Sunday morning cartoons were. Bright and glistening songs about the first punk rocker being found in a glacier, people turning into rats, mean teachers, and being happy that you're dead. (Plus, for fuck's sake, a revved up Enya tune that's really good.) Topically, they're in tune with the Dickies. Sonically, they're a crunchy, thrusting pop mix of the Toy Dolls and Masters of the Obvious: dark or serious topics, played so you're singing along like a bright-eyed kid drooling from a sugar high and hypnotized by the rays of the TV. Cool shit and a total surprise.
–todd (Short Hare, $4ppd)

These Liquid Lungs: CD
Emo is ridiculously out of control. Even stuff that I could tolerate a year or so ago has just gotten maudlin and treacly and bland. Fuck it. Can't we put most of the emo bands on the same boat to the bottom of the ocean that the boy bands are boarding? I'm tired of this shit. For every somewhat decent band like Cadillac Blindside, there's a dozen whiny little shit-sucking, sweater-wearing, bad-haircut Weezer fuckups that want to get huge and smoke dope all day whilst they pine over a girl who would probably shoot them in the head, given half a chance. At one time, emo was actually about catharsis – staring at your shoes just didn’t factor into the equation. Over the years, it seems that some people got the idea that emo was just about feeling sorry for yourself while playing folk songs. Luckily, Cadillac Blindside, a band that has perhaps been unfairly lumped in with the emo proles, has electric guitars and cares enough to use them. Between the time I started this review and now, a moving company managed to nuke one of the channels on my receiver, but oddly enough, this record sounds tougher – the chords sound far more gnarly, biting and crunchy without the melodic leads. Take out the melodies and Cadillac Blindside sounds like a really pissed off punk with a vocalist who can actually sing. And that ain’t bad at all.
–scott (Fueled by Ramen)

Soundtrack to the Apocalypse: CD
Lewd, crude, and rude. Heatstroke-induced punk'n’roll from this Texas band. It seems like all their songs are about fucking or getting to the act – music in the vein of old school Dead Boys with the nastiness of the Dwarves. Reminds me of a good night at a club with one too many beers and a rocking good time.
–don (Steel Cage)

Godbox: CDEP
I remember reviewing this band around 1998. From what I remember, this band is from Sweden. I could be wrong. I dug out the previous release and it was titled It’s Me God. No lyrics are included with this release or the previous. The scary part is "God" is included in both the titles. Like the previous, it's a heavy worship of Helmet with screamed, throaty vocals. Kind of emo-violence like with din-like tones of bottom heavy rhythms that are controlled yet abstract. This recording was done during rehearsals and not in a proper studio setting. It has a raw edge feel. Happens to fit the mood of my attitude right now. Would hate to find out that this band is religious though.
–don (Chrome Saint Magnus)

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