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Record Reviews

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Below are some recently posted reviews.

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DEMONICS, THE:
Dunebuggy Gang: 7”
NOTE: All my 7” reviews were done with the lights out this issue. WHAT I THOUGHT IN THE DARK: Song #1: Neat instrumental, considering it reminds me of both Agent Orange and Radio Birdman, two of the most overrated bands ever, plus i gotta crank the stereo so high to wring any volume out of this 45 i’d probably blow a fucking fuse if i had the lights on right now. Song #2: “Dunebuggy Gang?” Whoever wrote this piece of shit oughtta be dragged thru a gravel pit behind one, unless they honestly woke up one day in such a state of dementia they truly believed they were the male coming of Nikki Corvette, in which case they should merely be locked up and sedated heavily. Song #3: This song, apparently entitled “California Nightmare,” is, without question, the GAYEST FUCKING WASTE OF SONIC WAVES i have EVER heard IN MY LIFE. This song is so fucking gay the only way i’m going to be able to sleep at night is to pretend it was all just a clever and ironic parody. This is the kind of shit your roommates wake you up with at like 3 AM on Thursday morning. In a word: “One Way Ticket to Manitowoc.” Wait, that’s more than one word. WHAT I THOUGHT WHEN THE LIGHTS CAME ON: Wait, the Demonics? Is this the same Demonics who didn’t used to suck, or is this a whole new Demonics who have been invented with sucking as job #1? BEST SONG: This record is a piece of shit. BEST SONG TITLE: This record is a piece of shit. FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: This record is a piece of shit. –norb (Gearhead)


DELTA INDIA ECHO:
They Found My Naked Corpse Face Down in the Snow: 7” EP
Angry, noisy hardcore with oodles of violent lyrical imagery and mile-long song titles a la Charles Bronson. –jimmy (Grey Sky)


ECFU:
: Cassette tape
Well, hell, I got pissed off when I put out a tape of my band and certain fanzines had a no-tape policy. I don’t know if Razorcake has a policy, but this is the first tape I’ve gotten from Todd, and I think it’s exactly the reason certain zines have a no-tape policy: the recording level is so low it’s barely audible at top volume on two different tape players, the lyric sheet isn’t even set up to go in a cassette case (okay, I guess, since it didn’t come in one – it came in a rubber band)(wait, I think it came in a safety pin and I put the rubber band on later), and there’s no land or email address, just a phone number. “ECFU” apparently stands for “Electric City Fuck You” but “you” starts with a “y.” Songs are about “I hate my dad,” “I hate work,” “I hate my school,” “I hate New York City,” “I like to skate” and the movie Return of the Living Dead. Call ‘em up: 518-346-7291. I think they’re from Schenectady. –Cuss Baxter ()


ELECTRIC EYE, THE:
Raise the Sword: EP
Hard rock punk rock about magic power and wizards and swords and stuff. Not as stonery as you’d expect; more along the lines, musically, of Boston’s Hullabaloo, if anyone remembers them: gruff, goofy vocals, sloppy hard rock riffs and endearing who-gives-a-fuck silliness. The Electric Eye are from Portland, Oregon, though. –Cuss Baxter (Super Secret)


ELECTRIC EYE, THE:
Electric Wisdom: CD

CD: Okay. First song!

Me: Songs that sound like the Tight Bro’s From Way Back When covering “Flowers” off of the first Psychedelic Furs album! (DING!)

CD: Second song!

Me: Uh... songs that sound like “Play-Doh Meathook” era Electric Love Muffin covering “Hot for Teacher?” (DING!)

CD: Third song!

Me: Songs that very briefly remind one of that Love & Rockets cover the Gaza Strippers close their set with? (DING!)

CD: Close enough. Fourth song!

Me: Pass.

CD: Fifth song!

Me: Songs you hear outside a Fireballs of Freedom show that at first you think are covers of “Milk & Cookies” by the Offbeats?

CD: I’m sorry, time is up.

Me: Okay, well, thanks for having me.

BEST SONG: “You Got It Wrong” BEST SONG TITLE: “(Fuck Off) Grim Reaper” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: The Who Sell Out is generally considered the first rock album to omit the song titles from the exterior packaging. –norb (Dirtnap)


DEAR DIARY I SEEM TO BE DEAD:
Self-titled: CD
I don’t get this whole screamo phenomenon any more than the emo phenomenon. I mean, some asshole yelling in my ear does not make the music any more creative or less pretentious, and basically you get the same suckass emo crap with the added bonus of a jerkoff bucking for throat polyps. They can keep it. –jimmy (Dead Tank)


CZOLGOSZ:
Guernica: CD
In 1937, at the height of the Spanish Civil War, Nazi forces bombed Guernica, a small Spanish town. Ostensibly, the Nazis were bombing Guernica to protect the fascist dictator, Franco, who was attempting to forcibly take control of Spain. On the day when the Nazis bombed the town, though, there were no soldiers in the town and no real military targets for them to go after. They essentially bombed a marketplace, killing more than a thousand people, mostly women and children. The whole point of the attack was to demoralize Franco’s opposition. It worked. People in Spain were very bummed out. The bombing changed the face of modern warfare. Since 1937, every military in the world that has dropped bombs has intentionally dropped bombs on civilian targets in order to demoralize their enemies. One of Pablo Picasso’s most famous paintings, Guernica, is a memorial to this 1937 bombing. The painting Guernica used to hang in the press room of the United Nations building as a reminder of the UN mission to stop this type of tragedy. In March of 2003, Colin Powell insisted on covering the painting up before holding a press conference at the UN, during which he announced that the US would attack Iraq. The album, Guernica, is the type of smart and angry hardcore that you would expect from a band who would name an album after these events. From the first song, “No War but the Class War” to the last song, “Antifascists,” Czolgosz wear their politics on their sleeves and rip through some pretty powerful songs in the style of Toxic Narcotic and the Pinkerton Thugs. –koepenick (Rodent Popsicle)


DAN SARTAIN:
Dan Sartain Vs. the Serpients: CD
I’m not sure what this is. The liner notes say that this Dan Sartain guy recorded this himself and played most of the instruments, except when he was helped out by some semi-famous musicians like Gar Wood and Mario Rubalcada (Rocket From the Crypt). My theory is that it’s a huge inside joke made by the incestuous San Diego/Swami Records scene, like Beehive & the Barracudas. The music is basically stripped-down roots rock, and it’s pretty good. I hear some echoes of RFTC and Hot Snakes, and maybe a bit of the Starvations here and there. –Not Josh –Guest Contributor (Swami)


DAN SARTAIN:
Dan Sartain Vs. the Serpients: CD
I actually saw Dan Sartain play the same day that this came in. He opened for his label-mates the Husbands. He got me up to the front of the club, but couldn’t make me dance. It seemed to teeter on the edge of rocking on out, but then got reined back in. A whole room of people standing in appreciation, but wanting just a little more. That’s how I feel about the album, too. The best track is easily the first, “Tryin’ to Say,” which is a hard one to follow up. It’s raw and the emotion seems genuine. From there we go into “PCB 98” which is a huge step down, but then the bar is raised again on “Walk Among the Cobras Part 3.” The rest of the album continues on this pattern. Not a bad album. There are definitely some great tracks on there. Best for late night drinking music when you don’t want to piss off the neighbors too much. –megan (Swami)


DEATH WISH KIDS:
Discography: CD
A couple of members of Death Wish Kids, including vocalist Andrea Zollo, went on to Pretty Girls Make Graves. And as inventive, distinctive, and grounded in songwriting PGMG is, this band wasn’t. This is a collection of songs from that go from bad (their ’95 release) to worse (their ’94 demo that sounds like it was recorded with towels wrapped around all of the equipment). It’s derivative, clonky, cliché-riddled, monkey beat, scream-athon hardcore that, even if you’re so bored that you’re reading along with the lyrics, it’s close to impossible to decipher them. Somewhere in the middle of the mess, they go on and rape the shit out of the Vibrators’ “Whips and Furs.” Yeeowch. –todd (Aerodrome)


DEEP 13:
Eleven Stories: CD
Some Louisville hardcore that, while well played, failed to tickle my fancy. Could’ve been the metal overtones running rampant on this disc, but something just didn’t sit right and subsequently failed to keep my interest piqued. –jimmy (www.eugenerecords.com)


DEATHXDEATH:
The Glamour of Evil: CD
Classic OC hardcore, from Oakland. Think “Richard Hung Himself” with loads more speed, an overall darker outlook, and updated for today’s actual adolescents. Says it’s got a video on it, but my computer won’t do it. Do it, you! –Cuss Baxter ()


DARLINGTON:
Moron-a-Thon: CD
...if i ever ran a Pop-Punk Whorehouse – and who’s to say i don’t already do so? – i think one of the hapless johns i’d invoke my one-way-mirror privileges on would be Christy Darlington. I’m not sure why. The guy just always struck me as “interesting.” Not “interesting” as in i’d like to sit him down and ask him a bunch of deep and philosophical questions just to help slake mine own thirst for knowledge kinda interesting, but “interesting” like a big dragonfly with its brains turned to bubblegum on your front window still buzzing and writhing around kinda interesting. I mean, it just seems like the dentist gave him the Loony Gas as a child, and no one ever thought to turn it off. Oh, to be sure, the album starts off deceptively underneath the looniness radar, with a buncha “serious” type numbers seemingly aimed at currying favor with the latter-day Connie Dungs sales demographic; following that, things ratchet up into a suite of honest-to-young-Weasel numbers about pool parties and pajama parties and surfing in Croatia and suchlike, as if the guy could somehow simply WILL life into a long-dead shindig. Only at the tail end of the record does the TRUE Christy Darlington gibbering retard pervert savant-itude finally surface, as if he was ultimately unable to keep up the pretense of being a sensitive and artistic Connie Dungs pop-punker and/or a dweeb-ass “Teenage Slumber Party” regurge-a-tron for the duration of an entire compact disc. Submitted for your approval in this matter, from “ATM”: “She likes to give me head, I like to give her head/She tastes so good I’ll lick her back to front, oh yeah/No way I ain’t ashamed ‘cause I love dirty sex/I love the way she smells and how she tastes, oh yeah” and this, from “Electrocute Me”: “I’m a naughty girl, I’m a dirty girl, yeah I’m a filthy slut yeah... Well I love porno sex, I’m really hot in bed, I’m a sinner” and “I love your shorts-n-flops, I love to fingerfuck” and even “Love it when your feet R dirty/Pull your panties down I’ll lick it up yeah.” I mean, how could ya not love the guy? He’s like this hopeless pervo-dork who more than likely really believes that If He Sings It, They Will Come. And then, of course, he will as well – even though Science says one’ll get infinitely more pussy singing about how one enjoys slapping women up than one will by pledging one’s eternal selfless devotion servicing the Temple of Squack in song. Dunno why that is. Probably because chicks are stupid. Almost as stupid as guys. However, luckily, with Christy Darlington on our side, we’ll never relinquish our slight edge in the matter!!! Booyah!!! BEST SONG: “ATM” BEST SONG TITLE: “Electrocute Me” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: Darlington were originally known as “The Mess,” but they weren’t the same The Mess you’re thinking of. –norb (Stardumb)


CURSES, THE:
Throw A Fit: 7” EP
Energetic pseudo-garage rock with lyrics so simple that one is left to wonder if whoever wrote them either didn’t really bother to put much effort into them or is just some sort of unrecognized haiku genius. –jimmy (Home-Bilt Bomb, no address)


CRIMES OF THE CONSPIRACY:
When You Get This Letter, Burn It: 7” EP
NOTE: All my 7” reviews were done with the lights out this issue. WHAT I THOUGHT IN THE DARK: Song #1: Cheater beats are definitely a lost art. Song #2: Well, at least it STARTED like one of the weird instrumental songs off the first Meat Puppets 7-inch... Song #3: It’s a good thing i restrict my gambling to placing wagers on basketball games, because i would’ve put fifty-to-a-hundred down that this song couldn’t possibly suck as bad as the last one... and lost. Song #4: Uhh... how much would it break your heart if i told you i took the record off in the middle of Song #3? WHAT I THOUGHT WHEN THE LIGHTS CAME ON: When You Get This Letter, Burn It? I think they actually meant to say “When You Get This RECORD, Burn It.” BEST SONG: Song #4, o’ course BEST SONG TITLE: “When You Get This Record, Burn It,” which i had to invent for them FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: The guitar player’s name is “XB.J.X” Presumably his friends call him “XB?” –norb (Pop Riot)


CRESTFALLEN:
Self-titled: CD
Seriously over-the-top hardcore, skirting a fine line between bands like Die Kreuzen and the grind noise of Nasum and the like. The covers of “Minor Threat” and “Human Fly” were a mistake, though. Might I suggest something along the lines of United Mutations or Void next time ‘round? –jimmy (Robotic Empire)


CONSUME:
Who’s the Real Monster: 7"
Whoo-doggie. Aggressive, masterfully executed hardcore that’s thought provoking (“the need for acceptance has overruled competence”) while the music’s as heavy and dangerous as a bag of hammers thrown out an eight-story window into a crowded street. The guitar work’s complex, rough, and eerily melodic, so hints of both Tragedy and No Parade (two bands well worth seeking out) are present, too. (Also super-early Mudhoney. How odd.) By doing that, they make one of the catchiest anti-turning-animals-into-clothing songs I’ve heard in a long time. Of interest, to keep them being subsumed by the waves of other hardcore bands, they not only have a song about how sharks have been demonized (“Carcharodon Carcharias”), but include an essay on the topic of shark hunting in the lyrics booklet and have a picture of a shark on the cover. Excellent. I love it when hardcore has undeniable hooks and smarts. –todd (Consume)


CONSTANTINE:
Shine a Light: CD
Occasionally noisy alt-rock that starts off strong and then veers off into Boringsville right quick. The fact that the singer reminded me of Springsteen in all the wrong ways didn’t help matters much. –jimmy (Sub Pop)


COMMUNITY SERVICE PROJECT, THE:
Process of Illumination: CD
One of those melodicore bands that are musically competent but didn’t get me interested from the get go.
–don (Refried)


COLLISIONS, THE:
Talk Is the New Action: CD
Boring, arty rock music. –jimmy (www.windjam.com)


CLOROX GIRLS:
Self-titled: 7” EP

Four tracks of lo-fi, straight-ahead punk rock here. The three mid-tempo tunes were good, but the last track, a raver called “Trashy Daydream,” is the pick of the litter. That tune alone makes his worth yer green. Better act quickly, though, ‘cause there are only four hundred of these puppies out there.

–jimmy (Jonny Cat)


CLANN ZU:
Rua: CD
Is it bedtime already? Complicated artsy stuff that has me scrambling for my Raw Power record so I don’t fall asleep. –Not Josh –Guest Contributor (G7 Welcoming Committee)


CIRIL:
Hysteria Driven: CD
Looks like Rudimentary Peni, sounds like Rudimentary Peni, even has English-accent vocals, but they’re from Long Beach! That’s in California! Spooky, huh? –Cuss Baxter (Know)


CHECKERS, THE:
Make a Move: CD
I’m very skeptical of new wave’s current revival in punk rock, because I wasn’t that fond of new wave in the first place. Devo was cool if you didn’t try to listen to a whole album, and there were a lot of good new wave songs, but they were few and far between. I’ve been enjoying a lot of the new new wave, though, and the basic difference is that the newer bands remember to bring in the rock. The Checkers are a good example of this. The vocals are quirky and the music is jerky, but it’s faster and more rockin’ than any new wave from the first round. They show their influences in their covers, ripping through cool adaptations of “Observer” and “The Fanatic.” Really, though, it’s the originals that carry this album through. Songs like “Seeing Spots” and “Is He In?” really burrow into my brain and stick with me long after the album has ended and I’ve moved on in my day. Basically, The Checkers are exactly what the Waitresses should’ve been, and Make a Move is a solid album from beginning to end. –sean (Make a Move)


CHEAP SEX:
Launch off to War: CD
Parrot punk (nice colorful dye jobs, kiddies) with all the expected trimmings that’s destined to serve as great background music as their adoring fashion-punk fans scream “fuck the system” while scarfing down a Big Mac. Jeez, considering the sheer number of bands that look and sound exactly like this these days, it must be mucho profitable affecting the pose and being a walking, talking stereotype. –jimmy (Punk Core)


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