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Record Reviews

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NY WHORES:
Play the Fool b/w Kiss Me: 7"
Hmm. What bugs me the most about this 7"? Is it the dragging on and on at a slower mid pace? Or is it the repetition. The repetition. The slow repetition? Is it the stolen "Clash City Rocker" riff all the way through "Play the Fool"? Or the ripped off P.I.L. logo on the back? No small part of me wishes for just a sliver of originality or something that's hasn't blatantly been stolen from someone more talented. For solely historical purposes, it's got Mike Spent (ex-Spent Idols) and Generic from the Dead End Kids. Yipes. Me no like. –todd (Rapid Pulse)


NOW TIME DELEGATION, THE:
Watch for Today: CD
Between the guitar handlement of Tim Kerr and the magic singing pipes inside Lisa Kekaula (BellRays), one stands a pretty slim chance of being able to go wrong, assuming one is comfortable with a bluesy, soulful, organ-rich collection like this. About half originals and half covers (mostly by bands I don't know anything about), there's nothing particularly frantic or dramatic, just good old rhythm and blues (and organ). –Cuss Baxter (In The Red)


NOTHINGS, THE:
Lovely: CD
Funny, I always these guys were some sort of trash rock band. This sounds like the Heartbreakers by way of Cock Sparrer. Not what I expected, but a keeper nonetheless, even if it does have Steve Jones on it. –jimmy (Galaxy)


NORTH SIDE KINGS:
This Thing of Ours: CD
Three goombah wannabes (goombannabes? Sing: "I'm a teenage goombannabe.") from Arizona lay down some fine old school hawdcore that sounds great, but all the mafia reference brings to mind the line, "In a real Fourth Reich you'd be the first to go." I mean, there's a song on here about people who drive poorly, and they call themselves "capos" in the credits. They do rock, though, and support some good causes, including a diabetes fund and Help the Bay, and I bet they cook good. –Cuss Baxter (Thorp)


NOFX:
Surfer: 7"
Thank fuckin' Christ there's no longer 1,000 bands copping their style. The cloning machine has been dismantled. Yay hoo. Blink 182's taken up the limelight. Perfectly easy to ignore. It's easier to enjoy NOFX now. Fourteen cuts (well, thirteen. "Juice Head" doesn't count - it's them finding the key or tempo or something.). The artwork's a rad dig (or homage) on Bad Religion's "Suffer" - it's got an on-fire surfer standing at the beach. What separates 'em? Even though this 7" feels hurried and tossed off in a weekend, it's fucking funny and not just plainly stupid. That's not true. It's plainly stupid, but it's still really fun. Songs go from anthems pushing insobriety in the workplace ("Go to Work Wasted") to taking 40 oz. beer bongs in the butt ("Party Enema"). Shit. I just like these guys. They were supposed to run out of ideas and become jaded and cynical and start renouncing punk rock back with "Punk in Drublic" and I still pop a record of theirs on every week or so. –todd (Fat)


NO RESPECT:
Tunes of Decline: CD
Anyone who knows me can heartily attest to the fact that I utterly detest ska with a murderously ragin' passion. With that said, I now robustly belch, cut loose with a rattlin' machine-gun's array of farts, vigorously scratch my testicles, and then impatiently sigh. I mean no disrespect to my German brethren in No Respect, because their songs are indeed catchy as fuck and rhythmically well-structured, the lyrics are politically thought-provoking and poignant, and they're all proficiently skilled musicians... but I can't stomach ska any more than I can a snailshit-encrusted souffle! Damn, if it wasn't for the fruity rooty-toot-toot horns, No Respect would have me hammerlocked and hooked like a motherfucker... alas, ska can kiss my ass! A hilarious lil' afterthought, though: if ever I were to form a ska band, I'd call it Ska-Na-Na, and we'd play nothin' but revamped horn-enshrouded rock'n'roll oldies... wheeeee, and hahaha! –Guest Contributor (Mad Butcher)


NO MOTIV:
Diagram for Healing: CD
Todd, you bastard! You know I have a deep-seated loathing for "modern" pop punk and emo, yet you give me this. Now I find myself perched on a rather precarious fence. It embodies much of what I hate about the genre(s), primarily its wimpiness, but goddamn if I don't find myself listening to it over and over again. These are some really, really good songs here, rich in hooks and catchy singalongs that in no way resemble "oi oi" chants or youth crew anthems. It's like hearing the spirit of Husker Du (one of my all-time favorite bands) filtered through some Fat band I loathe. Fuck, I feel like a diabetic sitting in a dark room gleefully bingeing on mocha almond fudge ice cream with crushed peanut butter cups mixed in, fully aware of the detrimental effect it will have on me but not being able to help myself. There's no lyric sheet. I bet the lyrics suck, right? There just has to be something tangibly wrong with this. Ugh, I'll feel dirty. I'll have you know I'm gonna have a hard time sleeping tonight. Fucker. –jimmy (Vagrant)


NEW TOWN ANIMALS:
Self-titled: 7"
Punk rock with a lousy singer. Nice ties. –jimmy (Mint)


NEATBEATS, THE:
Mercurial: CD
If you've ever wondered what Merseybeat would've sounded like if it had happened in Japan rather than England, you need look no further than this disc. –jimmy (Get Hip)


N.O.T.A.:
Live at the Crystal Pistol: CD
Goddamit, if this recently revived live None Of The Above demo (it came out originally in 1983 as a cassette) doesn't sound as good as when I first heard their "Moscow" 7" (and the title song's on here). In many, many ways they're in the same breath as Really Red, The Offenders, Die Kruezen, and Husker Du. Hard but not stupid. Noisy but not devoid of melody. Political, to be sure, but not locked or suffocating, not overwhelmingly didactic. That they did this in Tulsa, Oklahoma in the early '80s makes it all the more impressive. The sound ain't bad. It's remastered off a four track. It's slightly muffled, but there's no squealing, few drop outs, and most importantly, the energy charges right out of the speakers, like you're in the middle of a cowboy bar and Reagan's the president. Now, if Rabid Cat or Unclean Records would just make the studio recordings available again, that would be fine thing, indeed. –todd (Crank)


MXPX:
The Road Less Traveled b/w You Hold the Key: 7"
How appropriate. Urine-colored vinyl. I'll listen to Christian punk if and only if the following things are completed: 1.) The Catholic church officially renounces Pope Pius XII's seal of tacit approval - and the clause of papal infallibility - of the Nazis during WWII. 2.) The Church gives a full and unilateral reprieve of Galileo. (In 1983, 341 years after the fact of imprisoning one of the greatest minds this world ever saw, the Catholic Church accepted that Galileo "might" be right about the earth rotating around the sun.) Ok, it's not fair for the sins of the father to be bestowed upon the son. MXPX just has to face it. They're a boy band with tattoos who write bland pop songs for 14-year-old girls. –todd (Fat)


MXPX:
The Renaissance EP: CD
Let me first say that I am by no means a Christian. I am probably the furthest thing from one. With that said, the first thing I thought when I received this to review was to use the CD as a flying guillotine to control the stray cat population in my apartment complex. Contrary to that first impulse, I decided to pull myself away from internet porn and listen to this with an open mind and try to develop an unbiased opinion on it. The music on this CD has that run of the mill poppy punk sound to it. Nothing new. Just very bland and uneventful. It reminds me of the so-called-punk bands the 10-12 year-old girls in elementary school are listening to on the radio. You know who they are. The lyrical themes are along the lines of self empowerment, doing what is "right" and treating everyone equally no matter their differences (insert vomit sound here). The band seems to try to mask their religious intent, opting to use terms like "something in the back of my mind," "whom do we really serve" and "fix your heart and your mind will follow" instead of actually blurting out "JESUS CHRIST." I guess they figure the little girls that listen to them won't figure this out. After listening to all nine songs of this drivel, I quickly went back to the porn on the internet to get this out of my mind. I then recalled what my first impulse was when I received this CD. "Here kitty kitty." –toby (Fat)


MXPX:
The Renaissance EP: CD
Oh, Mother of God, what have they sent me? Aren't these the guys that were on that Christian label Tooth & Nail? Then they jumped ship to a major and denied being a Christian band? Now, in my Fat Wreck package I pull this shit out. I am hard-headed in many ways and I don't even want to listen to this shit. I have my personal hard-line rules and religion has always bugged me. Especially Christianity as a whole. I hate that religion is infiltrating youth culture to replenish their brainwashed group. Let others tell you if they like this because I won't even give this shit a chance. –don (Fat)


MULLENS, THE:
Tough to Tell: CD
These maddaddy musical miscreants kick out the jams and then some with high-energy rock'n'roll intensity ala The Rolling Stones (before they became biliously boring old farts wrapped in a repetitiously nonfunctioning swirl of chord progression redundancy), the New York Dolls, and The Damned (pre-goth glam glumness). Yep, The Mullens effortlessly epitomize beer-guzzlin' barroom-brawlin' rock'n'roll robustness at its blisterin' ball-bustin' best (as it should be!): wild, carefree, steady, fast, loud, belligerent, and fun! Pouty, flirtatiously sinful vocals, stylishly cool Johnny Thunders-knuckledustin'-Keith Richards guitar-slingin' swagger, and a juicy, stomping, nicely well-rounded rhythm section of earth-crumblin' fury all make "Tough to Tell" an irresistible ear-scorching platter of rock'n'roll crunch well worth your undivided audial attention. I religiously recommend it! –Guest Contributor (Get Hip)


MOLEHILL:
Thousand Mile Regret: 12"EP
Absolutely unbeatable medicine for that jones you get between EyeHateGod records. Two songs in ten minutes of it. Packaging's kinda fucked up; looks like it was supposed to be a 7" until someone realized the break between songs was in the wrong place, so they did a 12" with the same thing on both sides. But if this one don't put a load in your skivvies (front or back, your choice), I'll eat my pencil collection. –Cuss Baxter (Satan's Pimp/Boredom Noise)


MILLOY:
Autodrivel: CD
I'm out of my league on this one. I'm reading the promo sheet that came with this because I'm a stupid fuck that can't be creative sometimes. I'm reading comparisons of Hot Water Music, Jawbreaker, Leatherface, and Samiam. I don't own anything by these bands. They might be on a compilation that I own in my collection. I might have heard them at a friend's house. I did see Leatherface once. Can't recall too much from my aging mind. All I can say is that they are British. The music is enjoyable and is a pace above the many of the bad melodic bands out there. The bass player rips and the songs are catchy and heartfelt. If you enjoy the aforementioned bands, this is in your league. For me, this is a great listen while reading the Sunday paper. –don (Crackle)


MIGALA:
Arde: CD
Their story goes something like this: a group of "non-musicians" get together "to make classic songs with an uncanny atmosphere." Their 1997 debut, "Diciembre 3AM," garnishes much acclaim in their native Spain. By 1998, the sextet's second release established the band across the European continent. They opened for the Magnetic Fields, Smog and Piano Magic; performed as Will Oldham's band for the artists' last tour of Spain; and caught the attention of former Belle and Sebastian conspirator and Looper mastermind, Stuart David, who, in turn, makes Migala fans out of the people at Sub Pop. Thus, came Migala's U.S. debut. Originally released on Christmas Eve, 2000 by Acuarela Discos, "Arde" ("it burns"), is nothing if not an eclectic release. "Primera Parada," the album's opening track, with its subtle surf guitars and gentle clash of symbols, rolls across the speakers like a tide slowly rising. Migala then moves into "El Caballo Del Malo," which is more-than-slightly reminiscent of old Western movies with gusts of electronic noise blowing between guitars like a tumbleweed rolling between the man in white and the man in black. "Times of Disaster" mixes a hushed, but slightly gravely and heavily accented, voice and somber beats with samples that could have very well been lifted from Red Asphalt and what seems to be a frantic conversation between a man and a woman in Spanish. On "La Espera," the band utilizes a string section to create the sort of heartbreakingly romantic feel that one might find on a Tindersticks' album. Despite the variety of sounds represented on this album, Migala maintains a sense of continuity throughout the course of "Arde." Each track fits together so that, when listening to the album as a whole, listeners may forget where track three ends and track four begins, which makes it great for late night listening. –liz (Sub Pop)


ME FIRST AND THE GIMME GIMMES:
Stevens: 7"
Dear Nitro: would it kill you to put the fucking speed on your 7"s? There's space on the label. Lots of it. Hello reader: It's the Gimme Gimmes covering Cat Stevens, a dude who became an Islamic badass, who at one time renounced popular music - including his own - as the tongue of the devil, and changed his name to Gerrard Depardieu. He now likes his old music. He also wanted the head of Salman Rushdie for writing The Satanic Verses. The GG's are famous punks who add drums and guitars to the sackless, sitar-laden popular standards. On a funny note, their first 7" just went for around $125 on Ebay, which, if you think about it, is probably more than it costs for any Cat Stevens record; a small indication that the world is now spinning a little more correctly. I like this more than I should. I know I like 'em better than the originals, that's for sure. –todd (Nitro)


MAD CADDIES:
Rockin: CD
Everything in my being is screaming to slag this off as a total piece of shit, but I just can't bring myself to do it. Don't get me wrong, I hate it, but it's still kinda fun to listen to, particularly "Mary Melody" and "All American Badass." Jeez, I haven't felt this confused about entertainment since that summer I wasted watching "Eddie and the Cruisers" 42 times on HBO. –jimmy (Fat)


LOVEJUNK:
Tribulations: CD
Here are some guys who can mix it up. Driving melodic songs that pound out one minute and go catchy in another. As I read, I see that they formed in the early '90s and have been struggling like many a band. The guitars screech with a distorted blare while maintaining a sense of melody. The vocalist has a scary resemblance in delivery to Tom Petty. It's not over-produced and has a particular rawness that is a tradition of Crackle Records. If you like a more of a rock sound that pounds with melody, you should seek this out. I read again that they wear their influences on their shoulders. The Replacements, Ramones, Husker Du, Descendents, Weezer and early Soul Asylum are referenced. Now, be an individual, and decide if you are going to look for this. –don (Crackle)


LOT SIX, THE:
The Code Mode: CD
Am I a bastard for just living? Am I wasting precious air? Am I worthless? I feel good after a good dinner and a couple of beers. So why the fuck do I have to listen to this? I'm glad when they created the play button, they created the button that says stop. You fucks got a bad roll. You got me. I don't like you nor your brand of Sonic Youth music. The only good thing I'm getting out of this experience is I got another jewel case. So there! –don (Espo)


LEGENDARY INVISIBLE MEN, THE:
Come Get Some!: CD
Off come the bandages, down comes the hair, out come musical sideburns of fuzz and psychedelia. Sheesh, I don't think every song on this shiny little thing - as opposed to their last album - is about pot (although they do thank Ricardo Mondobong). '60s garage rock's the taking off point. Attitude's the delivery mode. I can't help thinking that I hear a splice between the Sonics and Mudhoney, where the rhythm's always kept in check and the songs are given plenty of spine with deft use of organ, yet the guitars gnarl and are flipped onto attack mode. Good stuff. If the guys in the Mummies aren't dead, I'd pay to see a battle royale or at least a tag team matchup. –todd (Dionysus)


LEFT OUT:
25 Cent Serenade: CD
Here we have an ear-dazzlin' disc palpitatingly packed with super-distorted pop-punk joviality... upbeat, energetic, melodic, and frenetically youthful... an enthusiastically inspiring and dynamically frisky sonic noggin-thumper, for the most part. I do, however, have a couple of cantankerous complaints to voice: an overwhelming majority of the vocals tend to be too damn annoyingly whiney, verging on emo boo-hoo crybabyish bilge... the guitars furiously wail, but they're buried way deep down too low in the mix... the hippie-drippy acoustic ditty (inappropriately titled "Not An Acoustic Song") irritatingly interrupts the rapidfire flow of the rest of this captivating collection. All in all though, Left Out sonically pack one helluva walloping punch, and that's just what these tired old ears need the most... –Guest Contributor (Plan-It-X)


LARS FREDERIKSEN AND THE BASTARDS:
Self-titled: CD
Of course, it's Lars Frederiksen of Rancid... of course, it's pure gut-pummeling punkrock restlessness... of course, I wouldn't have it any other way! The relentlessly frenzied aural adrenaline-rush rowdiness of such songs as "Dead American," "Six Foot Five," "Army of Zombies," "Anti-Social," "Leavin' Here," and "Vietnam" caused me to feverishly guzzle my very last beer, jubilantly leap from the couch, rabidly run rampant and wild throughout the house, violently slamdance with a towering heavy hardwood bookshelf, briefly pause to punch numerous holes in the wall with my forehead, spastically scurry out the front door and into the street, plow headfirst into the first SUV that crosses my path, crazily jump onto its hood, and then proceed to viciously kick in the windshield ala Gary Oldman in "Sid & Nancy"... as the bewildered driver of the now severely damaged vehicle springs from it and escapes to parts unknown, I plop to the pavement and wearily sigh. Damn, I'm bloodied, bruised, and cross-eyed tired... but you can bet your sweet bippies I'll heartily listen to this chaos-fuelled disc again tomorrow and every fuckin' day thereafter! Hey, Lars, you gonna pay my astronomically outrageous medical expenses or what?! –Guest Contributor (Hellcat)


KOSHER:
Self Control: CD
It's funny, but every time I listen to this album, I end up singing a Descendents' song in my head. It's usually "Bikeage" because some parts of Kosher's "Brand New Enemy" sound so similar. Kosher seems to borrow a lot from the Descendents. The singer sounds a lot like Milo. They both have that happy melody with angry vocals. Kosher plays their instruments well and the songs are pretty well-constructed (though they probably could've taken a lesson from the Descendents' brevity and cut off a few of their songs before they repeat the same line eight times. Sorry. I have a short attention span). It's actually not a bad album and I could see these guys doing real well if they got themselves on a bigger label and opened for a bigger band. If that happens, I'm gonna go to the show and stand in front and scream "Play 'Suburban Home'" until they do it. –sean (Kosher)


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·We Are an Image from the Future: The Greek Revolt of December 2008
·PUBLICK OCCURANCES #13
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·Total Fucking Destruction, Affirmative Action Jackson, and Rumplestiltskin Grind
·EX-FAG COP
·SNUGGLE
·TERROR
·SUPERSUCKERS / HOOKED ON SOUTHERN SPEED
·RANDOM CUTS


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